Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, things are going up and I'm happy, I own a house, starting a new job, have a dog, and thinking of rescuing another dog great. I was happy for a while my dad moved away gives me the house with no mortgage as it's all paid off never thought that a woman in her 30s on the spectrum would be so lucky. As the saying goes what goes up must come down and yeah things have come back down. The truth is i'm miserable I feel alone and I am going through a health scare right now. I am waiting to have an MRI scan of the head which I am terrified of I am having dizzy spells and am constantly losing my balance. It's like I'm drunk when I'm not. Last week in the evening my friend was over mine and I fell on the floor and I couldn't get up my legs were like jelly. My friend had to help me but my legs buckled and I couldn't stand so he had to use all of his strength to get me up and drag me to the sofa, it was horrible. Right now I feel depressed I have no energy to even walk my dog but I did walk her today as I need to be a good owner and look after my dog. Right now I feel like I have hit rock bottom and I can't get out of it I take my anti-depressants daily and I am trying to find help. I just wish my mum was still alive and my dad was still living where I'm from instead of Scotland.
Hi Rach, sorry to hear you're going through a difficult time. As Uhane said, it might be a physical reaction to stress. I used to sometimes wake up in the night struggling for breath and with pins and needles in my hands - got checked out and there was nothing physically wrong, it was a panic attack. Of course you must get these things checked out, but try to do things that calm you and take time for yourself. Remind yourself of the good things in life, like the fact you have a good friend who helped you and a dog who keeps you company and you can have fun with.
I hope things get better soon.