How do you ask a woman out on a date?

Let's say I know this woman who works at a local supermarket, she smiled at me and said she liked my coat. I believe that's flirting, correct? How do I ask her out on a date?

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  • Most of my sexual encounters were not after a formal date. The only proper dates I've been on were in my OKcupid days (many years ago) and they were all disastrous.

    I met my partners online or through real life friends (in the days when I had them).

  • AH, you've noticed that when you hit a certain phase in life, people suddenly have no time for us..  

    It seems like a brutal time, but it's just preparation for your 60's, unless we can manage to bolt on extra "people skills". 

  • I don't have any time for them.  That's how it often starts with Autistic people. And then suddenly it's been years.  Their brains do not work like ours.  This world is a fucking dreadful place. The only way you can fail to notice the horror of it is to make your world completely small. But where's the fun in that?

    I had my fill of it all years ago. I've spent years just existing and not really wanting to be alive.

  • The only way you can fail to notice the horror of it is to make your world completely small. But where's the fun in that?

    A good bit of advice I once received is "be IN the world but not OF the world", which does indeed make your world very small. 

    But it's MY little world which means I can put who (or what) I want into it, AND remove what I do not want from it.

    The trick is having strong borders on your own little world and to NOT let the outside world access it.

    The other trick is to make your own little world a NICE place to be, so that when others get a glimpse, they want to be there too. 

    You've talked before about getting a cat, which is an excellent idea, but there is a hidden cost, or perhaps obligation that comes with getting a cat. On your bad days, when you feel really, really, "malojian" (or for that matter "I Sperg") you HAVE to choke down on that *** and feed them, clean their litter, and BE NICE when you really normally would not manage it. It's a challenge.

    Anger really does not work well with cats, and if your cat really does not like you, or the shared life you have, they will leave the first chance they get.

    OTOH, in a very Shamanic sense your cat companion will immensely enhance and help guide you in your own personal little world. -When it suits them! 

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  • The only way you can fail to notice the horror of it is to make your world completely small. But where's the fun in that?

    A good bit of advice I once received is "be IN the world but not OF the world", which does indeed make your world very small. 

    But it's MY little world which means I can put who (or what) I want into it, AND remove what I do not want from it.

    The trick is having strong borders on your own little world and to NOT let the outside world access it.

    The other trick is to make your own little world a NICE place to be, so that when others get a glimpse, they want to be there too. 

    You've talked before about getting a cat, which is an excellent idea, but there is a hidden cost, or perhaps obligation that comes with getting a cat. On your bad days, when you feel really, really, "malojian" (or for that matter "I Sperg") you HAVE to choke down on that *** and feed them, clean their litter, and BE NICE when you really normally would not manage it. It's a challenge.

    Anger really does not work well with cats, and if your cat really does not like you, or the shared life you have, they will leave the first chance they get.

    OTOH, in a very Shamanic sense your cat companion will immensely enhance and help guide you in your own personal little world. -When it suits them! 

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