Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm just about to reach 3 months into my first full time job. I scraped through uni but worked very hard and would like to keep this job. Part time retail jobs in the past have never been good for me due to the social factor and after 2/3 months I had to leave due to the amount of overwhelm, it made me so tired and anxious every time I had to go in.
Fast forward back to now. I was diagnosed autistic in February this year, before that my mum has always just helped me in anyway I needed as I've not had an easy life through school, bullying and a full blown crash or meltdown I guess at 15. But I'm about to finish my probation and have only had 4 days off work in that 3 months due to the overwhelm and exhaustion and burning out. But now I'm anxious every morning. I get to work from home 2 days a week from next week which was what I've been trying to push through for and started 1 day a week two weeks ago because of all this. My boss has been amazing throughout and very accommodating, we're currently putting in for an occupational health assessment at work and I've been looking into access for work as well.
I question is those of you who are in full time work (which I know isn't many) how to cope? I don't think working full time from home is an option for me due to where I work, but being a Graphic Designer it would be easy to do so. I make sure to go for regular walks but at busy periods this gets forgotten. But how else do you guys manage to stay in full time work, or did you find it better to move to part time? This might be an option for me but I'm unsure. I enjoy my job and the work isn't difficult, I just can't pin it down and I want to try and stay. This place has a very good work/life balance so I'm not doing many extra hours, if any. But I'm struggling to be able to do the things I enjoy like ice hockey and golf because of this knock on effect.
I have worked full time for over 30 years. To be honest I was never given any choice on the matter, but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 50. I actually thrived when I started work because I wasn't bullied like I was at school but it was a very diffrent work enviroment in the 80's. I am in the final weeks of working in a full time career job as we are relocating to a much cheaper area and I can just go and do a min wage job. At the moment I am done with it all, totally burnt out.
It sounds you have a great job but coping is the issue? I have been anxious about work every day I have been working, that is just part of who I am. One thing I have learnt is things are never as bad as your anxious brain makes out. Everybody has their struggles, even those who like to portray them selves as the perfect manager have weaknesses. All you can do is try your best, take it day by day and don't beat yourself up about it.
Rob