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Aspie Verbosity as a problem to NTs

IntenseWorld

Is there a way to avoid coming across the wrong way because of verbosity, in writing such as emails?

I am misjudged as anxious because I find it so easy to use email as a preferred form of communication and use a lot of detail.  Apparently my communication style, which I see as pretty factual, comes across as telling people what to do.  Although, IMV the types of people saying this, being professionals, are the type that think they know it all and just don't like someone that comes along who is well-researched and queries things.

I feel sad that I am getting misunderstood, it hurts.  On the one had I feel it's an injustice that I have to constantly think about and bear in mind NT sensitivities and how unbalanced that is, on the other hand it makes me paranoid about how I am being perceived (or misperceived) and what I can do about it.

I can't easily shorten information I give.  I also literally don't know how to change my style, it would possibly lead me into more troubled waters if I tried because I would be saying how I imagine an NT might say it in those circumstances and it could be a massive fail and make me look a weirdo.

As a parent, it's even more important that I am not misjudged because professionals can stir up all sorts of trouble for you if they don't understand you.

Parents

  • Hi All,

    I'm a lot like what you have described. Hope it doesn't look too rant-styled  Smile

     

    Let me give you an example, I was recently contacted by my council's housing/social services occupational therapy (OT) department after being referred to them by my social worker. Unfortunatly I got phoned out of the blue by a referral and advice officer (RAO) (i.e. lay person - not a professional per say) who wanted to know what my current housing and other difficulties were.

     

    As I did not have all the info to hand, I asked if I could email them back later with it. Again unfortunatly they do not have a specific email for this service but a generic council one. So in the end as I wasn't able to articulate the info they needed, my referral was not approved. Only after some persuading that I got an email address from the RAO that my referral was finally accepted. I also had to explain to them that just because my difficutlies were psychological (i.e. mental health + Autism) should not mean I cannot get a service from them. 

     

    The email I sent to RAO was short as I too felt from their conversation that they didn't give me all the info about what their next action steps would be (i.e. when I will be contacted by OT?, do they have specialist autism training as required by Autism Act 2009? etc) + I was right that it would be too much info if I explained fully that I was unhappy they had dealt with my refferal thus far but I didn't have the energy to do it at the time. Maybe useless to spend doing for this admin person. I've had better experiance with other admin people at the council even if they can't deal with my issue.  

     

    urspecial

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  • Hi All,

    I'm a lot like what you have described. Hope it doesn't look too rant-styled  Smile

     

    Let me give you an example, I was recently contacted by my council's housing/social services occupational therapy (OT) department after being referred to them by my social worker. Unfortunatly I got phoned out of the blue by a referral and advice officer (RAO) (i.e. lay person - not a professional per say) who wanted to know what my current housing and other difficulties were.

     

    As I did not have all the info to hand, I asked if I could email them back later with it. Again unfortunatly they do not have a specific email for this service but a generic council one. So in the end as I wasn't able to articulate the info they needed, my referral was not approved. Only after some persuading that I got an email address from the RAO that my referral was finally accepted. I also had to explain to them that just because my difficutlies were psychological (i.e. mental health + Autism) should not mean I cannot get a service from them. 

     

    The email I sent to RAO was short as I too felt from their conversation that they didn't give me all the info about what their next action steps would be (i.e. when I will be contacted by OT?, do they have specialist autism training as required by Autism Act 2009? etc) + I was right that it would be too much info if I explained fully that I was unhappy they had dealt with my refferal thus far but I didn't have the energy to do it at the time. Maybe useless to spend doing for this admin person. I've had better experiance with other admin people at the council even if they can't deal with my issue.  

     

    urspecial

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