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Aspie Verbosity as a problem to NTs

IntenseWorld

Is there a way to avoid coming across the wrong way because of verbosity, in writing such as emails?

I am misjudged as anxious because I find it so easy to use email as a preferred form of communication and use a lot of detail.  Apparently my communication style, which I see as pretty factual, comes across as telling people what to do.  Although, IMV the types of people saying this, being professionals, are the type that think they know it all and just don't like someone that comes along who is well-researched and queries things.

I feel sad that I am getting misunderstood, it hurts.  On the one had I feel it's an injustice that I have to constantly think about and bear in mind NT sensitivities and how unbalanced that is, on the other hand it makes me paranoid about how I am being perceived (or misperceived) and what I can do about it.

I can't easily shorten information I give.  I also literally don't know how to change my style, it would possibly lead me into more troubled waters if I tried because I would be saying how I imagine an NT might say it in those circumstances and it could be a massive fail and make me look a weirdo.

As a parent, it's even more important that I am not misjudged because professionals can stir up all sorts of trouble for you if they don't understand you.

Parents

  • Hi Intenseworld,

    I've spent a lifetime either trying to understand or be understood!

    I thought my own overexplaination of things was merely to clarify the points i seem so badly to convey, but i'd never viewed it from your perspective before. I'm a fairly pasive individual and find challenging professionals or authority very difficult to deal with. My hope is that by trying to explain things more clearly, I avoid such confrontation. It doesn't always work in fact. In my experience over explaining things often gets people more confused, yet I still manage to be the master of understatement most days. When I tell someone i'm unwell, i'm normally at deaths door!

    For someone who has spent her life looking at the minutiae of things in order to make sense of the world, it becomes difficult to separate such detail from expression I find.

    I've come to believe this is just how it is. My children; also Aspies, do it as well. Tell you the truth I am a very anxious person, so if it comes accross, it's one of the few emotions I manage to convey clearly, so it's tough as far as i'm concerned for all those who perceive me that way. Yet if that's not you, then I can understand your anguish.

    Hope you find the answer.Smile

    I love the word incidently. verbosity!

Reply

  • Hi Intenseworld,

    I've spent a lifetime either trying to understand or be understood!

    I thought my own overexplaination of things was merely to clarify the points i seem so badly to convey, but i'd never viewed it from your perspective before. I'm a fairly pasive individual and find challenging professionals or authority very difficult to deal with. My hope is that by trying to explain things more clearly, I avoid such confrontation. It doesn't always work in fact. In my experience over explaining things often gets people more confused, yet I still manage to be the master of understatement most days. When I tell someone i'm unwell, i'm normally at deaths door!

    For someone who has spent her life looking at the minutiae of things in order to make sense of the world, it becomes difficult to separate such detail from expression I find.

    I've come to believe this is just how it is. My children; also Aspies, do it as well. Tell you the truth I am a very anxious person, so if it comes accross, it's one of the few emotions I manage to convey clearly, so it's tough as far as i'm concerned for all those who perceive me that way. Yet if that's not you, then I can understand your anguish.

    Hope you find the answer.Smile

    I love the word incidently. verbosity!

Children
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