Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello
My partner recently started a new job in retail. He was really enjoying it at first and was told he would pass his probation but then he made a mistake as he hadn't been trained properly. He was contacted by a senior manager for the mistake he made and he explained he was not trained properly. After this, his boss turned on him and the boss has made all the others in the team turn on him too. The boss will now not respond to his texts and messages if he has a query and he feels so isolated now.
He spoke about this to an autism support service who told him he was being rude standing up to his boss and now he feels even worse and actually suicidal.
My partner is awaiting an autism diagnosis and did not disclose this to his employer, he feels so lost now as he has been in so many jobs and let go and he feels bullied and picked on. He's been desperate to find remote work but no one responds.
Apologies for the rant, but if anyone has any advice on what he should do next it would be really appreciated.
We are at breaking point in our relationship too as I am finding it mentally exhausting but also love him too and he has no money and no where else to live.
The learning that happens at work, does not stop after being trained. Learning is an on-going process, it's "Learn as you go," even at times for managers. There's learning resources and reference guides placed across the store. Employers who are sensible, will understand that new employees will make mistakes, and that's why they'll say things like"if you don't know something, ask for help," and then if the employee doesn't know, they'll teach the employee correctly.
But if an employee doesn't know how to do something, and then turns around and goes "I was not trained properly" it'll come across as putting blaming the employer for the employee's mistake, and that will be taken as if the employee was not appreciative of the training they have received, nor the opportunity that was given to the employee to work there.
I'd advise that he just ask to speak with the senior manager in private, bring up the situation where he made a mistake and explained that he was not trained properly, and apologize if it came across as rude because he didn't mean it to, and that he appreciates the opportunity to work there. Hopefully his employer will have a change of heart after that.
I've also done things that was miscommunicated and taken the wrong way, and even though I don't like confrontations, I do it, just so there's a chance at resolution to problems. I know how bad things can get if people are lead by negative assumptions of you, and then start treating you unwell because of it. People are a lot nicer if they understand that there's no bad intentions behind what you've said. I hope things get resolved.
Hello there, thank you so much. This is great advice and good to hear from someone who has been in a similar situation!
Yeah, and even today, I had to call a manager back, just because our first conversation didn't go so well, so I decided to call them back to clear the air.
Miscommunications happen sometimes, but as long as you try to explain things in a sensible way, then at least that's respected. Speaking up for yourself and being assertive is a skill, and I hope your boyfriend can learn those skills in time.