Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. My name is Stella.
I am neurodiverse and have mental health issues. I work full time in a primary school as a teaching assistant and have done for the last few years between hospital admissions.
I returned to work after the summer break today, and it was not a pleasant experience. I was exceptionally anxious (I struggle a lot with change of routine and socialising) and I found it near enough impossible to talk to people about how my summer was, or ask them how their summer was, or engage in a back and forth conversation. There were 30+ people in the staff room, and multiple convos happening all at the same time, and I became so overwhelmed that I took myself into a side room to hide from everyone.
I feel like an alien. I feel like I’m unable to do this ‘human being’ / active and functional member of society thing. I just feel so overwhelmed, panicked, and it all seems so unbelievably hard. I look around and envy others, even though science and logic confirms that many might be ‘masking’ and are perhaps just better at it than me.
I am going in tomorrow for another inset day, so any tips or tricks on how to be less alien and more normal would be fab!
Ta!
Stella
Pronouns - She / her
Hi Stella and welcome to the community!
The NAS has some advice about socialising that you might find helpful. From what you've said, I wonder whether counselling (accessed via your GP) could be of particular benefit to you?
"If you experience extreme levels of anxiety in social situations, it might be useful to talk about this with your GP. A medical professional should be able to offer support and advice and may be able to signpost you towards support services.
Qualified counsellors can often offer information on techniques that may reduce anxiety and develop social skills. Sometimes advice can be provided via the phone or email or a home visit may be arranged.
The NHS often offers counselling following a GP’s referral. It is important to contact a qualified counsellor with specialist knowledge and understanding of autism."
NAS - Making friends - a guide for autistic adults
They also offer advice about anxiety and sources of support (which also include counselling), which might be worth a look:
NAS - Anxiety
Struggs2func said:I am neurodiverse
Just for info re terminology: as autistic people, we are each "neurodivergent" rather than "neurodiverse" :) Click for a less blurry version:
I think that first day back is always hard - especially in a school. I would give it a few more days before drawing any major conclusions about anything - as you might settle into it more happily after a little while. Good luck!
Hi Stella
I worked as a teaching assistant in a primary school for 5 years, although that was around 30 years ago. But I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed and out of place in the staff room and at inset days.
Try to plan ahead - think about what you will say and have responses ready - maybe think about it like a lesson plan. Smile and say hello if you're approached, if they ask how your summer was, say "fine thank you, how was yours?" Or if they ask what you did, say "oh, all sorts, what about you?" Keep using open questions to get them to do the talking. If conversation fails, compliment their hairstyle or a new item of clothing, which they will hopefully tell you about.
If you know you have the same interests as another staff member, try to engage them in discussion about that, or you could talk about what work you will be doing with the children this term - an in depth conversation about something that engages you makes the time go more quickly than just "small talk".