Published on 12, July, 2020
My younger brother is autistic. I suspected for a while that he is not okay.
He come over to my house yesterday and when I asked if he was okay, he said he was not, and then proceeded to say, "not that I will do it, but did you know that X amount of autistic people commit suicide?", he then went on to say that he didn't want to share what was happening because I wouldn't be able to help and he was "fine/not fine". When I said that I would just listen to him to learn what was happening, and not offer any help, he declined once more because he said it would make things worse.
I know he's not sleeping well.
I am certain he needs support.
But I feel like ever offer seems to be declined immediately.
There must something, or someone, that can help him and I wondered if any one could offer some advice?
I'm worried about him.
Thanks in advance for any replies!
A number of people think about suicide without ever having any intention of doing anything about it.
The best thing you can do is be there to listen when they are ready to talk, and not to judge what they are saying. Not saying 'that's awful' but 'that sounds like it might have been hard for you to cope with'. Most of the people I've spoken to who have suicidal thoughts want the pain to end, not necessarily their lives. I think most of us can understand wanting pain to end. And those who succeed in dying by suicide rarely talk about it beforehand. Just be there. Not necessarily saying anything. But be there, and support by sitting in silence. Often we rush to try and 'fix' other people's problems, but we need to give safe space for them to process the problem and acknowledge its impact, before they can see a way forward.
Do you share your problems with your brother? Do you ask for his help/support? Does he understand your pain? If he's saying it'll make things worse by talking about it, how do you know it will be better if he does? Can you share that story/experience with him, so he can learn the benefits?