Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello lovely people! I'm a late diagnosed autistic adult, and I've been trying to work on my imposter syndrome. I was convinced I was autistic right up until I was diagnosed, and now that it's official I keep questioning it (as I am overall functioning fairly well, on average, especially since I started working from home, which has removed the majority of my social triggers).
One thing that keeps making me feel like an imposter is that I hate research. It stresses me out. There is so much information out there, I find it overwhelming, having to choose how and what to look for, and then there is so much to read or watch. I know wanting to learn everything about a subject is a big aspect of autism, researching things in depth etc, so not enjoying research makes me feel like an imposter within the autistic community. I do spend a lot of time checking things before buying so I know I'm buying the right thing, but I hate doing it. And one thing that doesn't help me at all is that I rarely research new places I'm going to, how I'm going to get there, where I'll park etc, because the research stresses me out so I ignore it or leave it to the last second. But then I get to the place and I get overwhelmed because I don't know where to park etc.
Can anyone relate to this? Do you have any recommendations for ways to approach research in a smaller, less overwhelming and stressful way?
I'm not sure I've experienced imposter syndrome, but I spent 20 minutes in the bread aisle today trying to work out what kind I wanted. Then commented to someone nearby 'do you remember when the choice was plain or pan?' Slightly off topic I know as it's not research. But it is information overload.
I don't like research unless I'm interested in what it is. What provider for my car insurance? yawn. What book to borrow from the library? yay.
Usually I find I get into a state of 'analysis paralysis' where the more information I add doesn't actually add anything to the discussion but I still can't make a decision. Usually I avoid this happening by setting myself a deadline. If I don't enjoy it I'll leave it until the last minute and just pick something after a basic search - but at least I haven't ruined my month by doing pointless research on the internet.
Ooooooh so true! I absolutely do this as well! If I'm going to buy something I want it to be right. Well, no, I want it to be perfect. So for my sewing hobby I'll delay starting any project because I want to find the perfect pattern for the absolute best piece of clothing I would own, and then I look for the absolute best most perfect fabric for it, and it takes forever and stresses me out and I don't dare pick anything. When in reality, it's a hobby, I will make others, so it doesn't have to be the single most perfect thing that I most want to make in the entire world haha but it does give me that paralysis like you. Too many options aren't always good.