Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello lovely people! I'm a late diagnosed autistic adult, and I've been trying to work on my imposter syndrome. I was convinced I was autistic right up until I was diagnosed, and now that it's official I keep questioning it (as I am overall functioning fairly well, on average, especially since I started working from home, which has removed the majority of my social triggers).
One thing that keeps making me feel like an imposter is that I hate research. It stresses me out. There is so much information out there, I find it overwhelming, having to choose how and what to look for, and then there is so much to read or watch. I know wanting to learn everything about a subject is a big aspect of autism, researching things in depth etc, so not enjoying research makes me feel like an imposter within the autistic community. I do spend a lot of time checking things before buying so I know I'm buying the right thing, but I hate doing it. And one thing that doesn't help me at all is that I rarely research new places I'm going to, how I'm going to get there, where I'll park etc, because the research stresses me out so I ignore it or leave it to the last second. But then I get to the place and I get overwhelmed because I don't know where to park etc.
Can anyone relate to this? Do you have any recommendations for ways to approach research in a smaller, less overwhelming and stressful way?
I'm not sure I've experienced imposter syndrome, but I spent 20 minutes in the bread aisle today trying to work out what kind I wanted. Then commented to someone nearby 'do you remember when the choice was plain or pan?' Slightly off topic I know as it's not research. But it is information overload.
I don't like research unless I'm interested in what it is. What provider for my car insurance? yawn. What book to borrow from the library? yay.
Usually I find I get into a state of 'analysis paralysis' where the more information I add doesn't actually add anything to the discussion but I still can't make a decision. Usually I avoid this happening by setting myself a deadline. If I don't enjoy it I'll leave it until the last minute and just pick something after a basic search - but at least I haven't ruined my month by doing pointless research on the internet.
Ooooooh so true! I absolutely do this as well! If I'm going to buy something I want it to be right. Well, no, I want it to be perfect. So for my sewing hobby I'll delay starting any project because I want to find the perfect pattern for the absolute best piece of clothing I would own, and then I look for the absolute best most perfect fabric for it, and it takes forever and stresses me out and I don't dare pick anything. When in reality, it's a hobby, I will make others, so it doesn't have to be the single most perfect thing that I most want to make in the entire world haha but it does give me that paralysis like you. Too many options aren't always good.
Yawn or yay categorising? Count me in!!