jokes

I was thinking of doing a thread of jokes and humor.

on Thursday  my evening routine went out without any fore warning cause someone who doesnt know my evening routine due to not being with me in the evening and stuff told the person who was going to be with me this evening who doesnt know my routine either and there waa some sort of mis communication

for context

she aparantly told me out of nowhere when i was having my meds but she started going on about something else aswell and I was unable to process everything cause it takes longer than normal for me to process things cause of my learning disability sometimes

but also cause I had a sore throat that kept me up the previous night and my sore throat has been worse today Iv been taking something for it.  I dont tend to cope with them well cause they afect the texsture of food i will eat and im very fussy about texture anyway and so was too distracted by all that.  

she was also talking too fast for me to process the words and sentences  and I thought she was just going over my usual routine and so didnt pay much attention cause I already know it and she aparantly thought I agreed with certain  times that ended up throwing my routine out the window and I was completely unaware of any changes until the last minute

when I t told her what she said didnt make sense cause its not my routine and she didnt take that well when I told her and I found the change odd and it caused lots of upset to my routine

so cause of everything that happened that  evening im even more up for humor and laughter and for that reason and the fact I was thinking about doing a joke and humor thread anyway there is no better time time like the  present to make people laugh 

here are some jokes and humor I have come up with so far 

I make up funny words in my head to use as alternatives to rude words or swear words so thought it would be one cool idea to do with humor 

when I was a child  I mainly copyed my speacial interests rather than my parents and although they have a habit of swearing sometimes I still chose not to copy them and so have never been known to swear  ever since I was little and dont do it even when alone instead I automaticaly come out with all sorts of  funny things as always but  thats just me. I like making up funny words  and my brain automaticaly says funny things instead and so I come up with all sorts of funny things even when im fustraited or iv realised iv made a mistake ir I have an acident so thought funny words would be a good idea cause its a type of humor I could use for the joke thread 

heres one of my favourate funny things I say 

oh flap- referance to birds flapping when startled 

but its the flapping part i find funny and one of my favourate phraises 

next I like different types of humor 

what do you get when  a crab gets into a fight 

an all out brawl 

what do you get when a  teritorial  shore  crab crosses   paths with a  hermit? krabby 

then theres other funny humor and jokes to come up with aswell. although its about wildlife it can be about anything and thought it would be a good idea for a thread 

Parents
  • today I wore a shoe on one foot and a slipper on the other cause I couldnt find my slippers this morning

  • thankfuly I I eventualy found them. I just wore my shoe on one foot and slipper on the other for making breackfast and haveing my medication- until I found them which was later 

  • I have done wearing one shoe a few times. and iv even gone out without them

    . there has been ocasions where I have forgot to put shoes on, forgot im not wearing them and only just realised while im out I havnt got any shoes on aswell.

    I dont know how I managed to forget I only have  one shoe on but there has been times where i have worn only one shoe. not finding any slippers or socks was t the exception for wearing one shoe for breackfast and meds  indoors though

    by the way I did wear socks during the sub zero tempratures I endured for a couple of days before my room burned like a furnace on Friday afternoon due to the heating or the boiler man doing too much of a good job fixing the boiler or someone turning heating up too high 

    . it apeared he used his heating or boiler powers to make sure he fixed it for good since the house went the oposite exstreme by the time I came back from going out in the afternoon - im in the roof too where all the heat rises aswell so yes. 

  • Well if Micheal Jackson could get away with wearing one sparkly glove I’m sure it’s perfectly acceptable to wear one shoe. 

  • I sometimes wear cloathes  back to front so I wear things back to front sometimes  when I go out or go home without realiseing it 

  • My wife always points out that my top is inside out, or ridiculously wonky.

  • one day last week  I was going to be taken just for a drive I sometimes go out after meds.  I  asked the care  worker  if I should go out in my slippers since Im just haveing meds and about to go out after im finished and she didnt notice I was wearing slippers. she said well unless we get out the car it doesnt matter but if we breack down you will need them so go and get them just in case

    one day I literaly went out wearing slippers and I didnt even realise it

    dont get me started on socks when I forget to put socks on or havnt put them on yet and think I have. I dont allways wear socks so I forget if im wearing them or not.  one day I was in the car with Mum and we discovered I left my shoe behind in costa coffee so we ended up haveing to get my shoe cause I only had one shoe on

  • Zo

    Once again you have made me smile. I do wear matching socks as I buy all the same and if anyone was to buy me different socks I eventually throw them away. I don’t like wearing socks as a rule but obviously for certain things like work or the odd occasion when I’m expected to make an effort to go out. 

    oh and in sub zero temperatures I believe socks are a requirement. 

  • I still like to wear socks that dont match  sometimes - in fact I did last week- not cause I dont have any but cause I dont mind it - even out and about 

  • I have also worn socks that dont match every day at the care home and  out and about aswell as indoors and at Mum and Dads house.. she was surprised one day when I finaly turned up with matching socks - that was after Christmas. on Christmas Day I found out  i was bought matching socks  since i didnt have any

     that is the only reason I turned up with matching socks after Christmas 

Reply
  • I have also worn socks that dont match every day at the care home and  out and about aswell as indoors and at Mum and Dads house.. she was surprised one day when I finaly turned up with matching socks - that was after Christmas. on Christmas Day I found out  i was bought matching socks  since i didnt have any

     that is the only reason I turned up with matching socks after Christmas 

Children
  • I have done wearing one shoe a few times. and iv even gone out without them

    . there has been ocasions where I have forgot to put shoes on, forgot im not wearing them and only just realised while im out I havnt got any shoes on aswell.

    I dont know how I managed to forget I only have  one shoe on but there has been times where i have worn only one shoe. not finding any slippers or socks was t the exception for wearing one shoe for breackfast and meds  indoors though

    by the way I did wear socks during the sub zero tempratures I endured for a couple of days before my room burned like a furnace on Friday afternoon due to the heating or the boiler man doing too much of a good job fixing the boiler or someone turning heating up too high 

    . it apeared he used his heating or boiler powers to make sure he fixed it for good since the house went the oposite exstreme by the time I came back from going out in the afternoon - im in the roof too where all the heat rises aswell so yes. 

  • Well if Micheal Jackson could get away with wearing one sparkly glove I’m sure it’s perfectly acceptable to wear one shoe. 

  • I sometimes wear cloathes  back to front so I wear things back to front sometimes  when I go out or go home without realiseing it 

  • My wife always points out that my top is inside out, or ridiculously wonky.

  • one day last week  I was going to be taken just for a drive I sometimes go out after meds.  I  asked the care  worker  if I should go out in my slippers since Im just haveing meds and about to go out after im finished and she didnt notice I was wearing slippers. she said well unless we get out the car it doesnt matter but if we breack down you will need them so go and get them just in case

    one day I literaly went out wearing slippers and I didnt even realise it

    dont get me started on socks when I forget to put socks on or havnt put them on yet and think I have. I dont allways wear socks so I forget if im wearing them or not.  one day I was in the car with Mum and we discovered I left my shoe behind in costa coffee so we ended up haveing to get my shoe cause I only had one shoe on

  • Zo

    Once again you have made me smile. I do wear matching socks as I buy all the same and if anyone was to buy me different socks I eventually throw them away. I don’t like wearing socks as a rule but obviously for certain things like work or the odd occasion when I’m expected to make an effort to go out. 

    oh and in sub zero temperatures I believe socks are a requirement.