Are there any unwealthy autistic persons here?

I was raised fairly middle class but post university I was on a pretty low wage and although I bought a house back in 1987 I was plunged into 30% negative equity within a year of buying.

Later separation from my partner left me broke but I got another job, bought a really cheap house (mortgaged) and managed to find a job that paid well for a few years where I was also able to buy a second house, end up married to someone who was not working and had a crash in the job market that had me move to Germany for some better paying work.

6 years later my wifes business went bust and we were nearly bankrupt and we moved back to the UK where I got another lowish paying job and we rented.

11 years after struggling through this we bought a "fixer upper" Victorian place (mortgaged) on the south coast and managed to make a decent chunk of cash followed by another a few years later that made a big chunk and I was able to retire to Brazil where I do a mix of property flipping and charity work.

So I've been broke a few times, wealthy a few times and most stages in between. Discipline and perseverence are the keys to overcoming what holds you back in my experience although I realise not all are able to do this

indeed.

All is well. this discussion feels like an earnest plea to understand by someone who is struggling to find their place and how to define it. Let's help them.

It is a relative thing, yes?

what would define un-wealthy for one

is enough for another.

Sorry to hear that Cat Woman, I had two friends who voted remain and I voted leave, but we respected each other and didn't fall out over it or start name calling.

I don't like the terms "remainer" or "Brexiteer" myself as it suggests that it's part of one's identity, but for me it's not part of my identity, just a choice I made at that time on how to vote. But I don't align myself with any political party or ideals - at each election I weigh up what information I can find and vote according to what I think is best. I know not everyone thinks the same as me and I respect the right of everyone to make their own decisions.

I've met plenty of those types FM, the whole Brexit thing was so divisive, I got so much abuse for being a remainer, I was even called a traitor!

Pixiefox said:

I see that you state that you dislike "gammon people" and are against Brexit. I voted for Brexit, so I assume that means you automatically dislike me and would also call me a "gammon".

I do not see all those who voted for Brexit as being 'gammon people'.  Gammon people are those who are jingoistic  rather than patriotic , and are more than a little bit racist.

My background is very different to yours fm and I often don't feel like I fit in here either.

Hi Firemonkey, thank you for replying to my question.

Everyone is different on here, we all have different backgrounds and different political and social views - that's fine, so long as we don't let those differences divide us.

I looked at your profile to see if I could get more information on your background, so as to get a clue why you asked this question. I see that you state that you dislike "gammon people" and are against Brexit. I voted for Brexit, so I assume that means you automatically dislike me and would also call me a "gammon". I really do not care what anyone thinks of me or what they call me, but I wanted to just point out that this may offend others on the forum who have different political views to yourself. I won't say any more on the subject of politics as I don't want to get into any arguments, although I'm quite happy to chat with you about anything non controversial. 

I have now also seen a reply you posted to Mark (Spikey) where you say that compared to many you had a privileged upbringing. I don't see how that matters on here - we all have issues, no matter how wealthy or poor we are. I reply to posts that interest or intrigue me, or ones where I feel the same way as someone and hope I can make them feel included. Try to see past the differences - we should all be able to find common ground.

I have lived in poverty for many years, poor jobs, struggle, then had some money, then not had it again. I found it hard to cope with money in a different way to hard without it. I prefer the boundary that being skint provides. Less to think about.

I experienced social drift’. I didn’t have a term to describe it before. I come from a middle class family but am unidentifiable as such, yet also am not identifiable as working class. I realise these are crude terms perhaps, yet when you do not seem to belong the class system seems very real and everywhere.

social drift for me feels like not belonging anywhere, having no identity. I am the only person in my family and extended family not to have a professional career, men and women both. Yet I feel like I have worked as hard, harder, to try and prove myself.

I Like having to live on very little. It is just as easy to use as little as possible of everything. It provides a clear boundary for life. I appreciate things more. It works out about the same. A hot bath once a week is as good as a hot bath every day, it provides all the niceness rolled into one instead of divided by seven. I do wash too in case yo are wondering!

The same with food. Eating sometimes is better than eating indiscriminately because you don’t have to consider money. I see nature better when I have less. 

I think Peter has hit the nail on the head here. But not fitting in, is no bad thing either. 

I don't fit in anywhere. This place we have one thing in common, and then may have other things in common with individual members. But the board as a whole will only ever be that one thing.

Though I have 'met' some great and interesting people here - your good self included firemonkey

does anyone fit in here? Forgive me but I've just never seen this as a 'fitting in' kind of place.

You, and no doubt others here, wonder why. For my part I'm struggling to understand why  there's a failure to understand  why  the difference in experiences impacts  on my ability to feel that I fit in here.

I do work, and in a job I love - but it will never make me rich (that's OK, I'd rather be happy anyway). After years of struggle, I may now have a chance of slowly putting together some savings, after years of debt or just breaking even month to month. I do have a house that I 'own' (mortgage) but that simply would not have happened without the blessing of assistance from the co-ownership people (basically I rent half, buy half). I consider myself unwealthy for sure... but I count my blessings too, because I have shelter, and food, and central heating (once I get it fixed again!). All in all, a fair trade-off for a life that minimises risk of a total mental breakdown or burnout. 

Compared to many I had a privileged upbringing. Though nowhere near Bullingdon level.My mental health isn't A1, but it's better than it's been for a very long time.My physical health,on the other hand, has gone in the opposite direction

I've been both well off (ish) and poor. I've had my time on universal credit. twice actually. The first time was awfull. The second just really tough. I had an fairly privalidged upbringing financially speaking. Nothing crazy, I wasn't flown around the world by my parents or anything crazy like that. I'm no trust fund baby. But our family was wealthy enough for them to help me through uni and buy me a second hand car when I turned 18. As a junior scientist my sallary is around the upper end of a fast food places general managers salery. But my work has basicly no financial security with short fixed term contracts of 2-4 years. My curent job was a 6 month contract and it was extended twice to 12 month now.

I wonder why you are asking this? I understand that the majority of autistic people either cannot work, or struggle to manage a full time job. And you don't have to be getting benefits or living in social housing to be poor - those with income just above the benefits level are often the worst off, and pay the highest proportion of income in taxes.

firemonkey said:

Yes on a individual basis there are those  who are home owners and workers who are struggling to make ends meet. Taken as a block though it would be wrong to deny that they are better off than those disabled people who live in social housing and are not in work.

I have to disagree again.

I don't think you can look at it as a block.

Those with mortgages (or renting) who are single don't have a guaranteed income as those on benefits do (until governments start messing about).

I can only see a case by case basis in this, looking at outgoings, income, savings and security.

I didn't ever have savings when I was single and as I detailed below, extreme burnout (which I didn't recognise as such then) forced me to take extended time off sick without sick pay or just walk out of jobs.

When I read this - I experienced it as shockingly alienating. 

(The opposite of inclusive, more like judgemental).

I was genuinely surprised.

If ND's were not able to be encompassing of each other - that would be a sorry state of affairs.

That's not what I want  to do at all. It's more about the lack of shared experiences  that as a block can occur.