Sounding Grumpy Or ‘Short’

I’m most probably having more of a vent than asking advice. Im always being accused of sounding grumpy or being ’short’ with people, I’m not, my voice is quite deep and can be very monotone.

I know internally that I’m not  answering abruptly, I admit I can get tired quite quickly when in conversation, having to repeat a sentence when misheard can cause me to literally runout of words. It’s then thought that I’m being more awkward. I’m putting more energy into trying to smile and undulate my voice, if that’s the correct word? 

Im thinking it must run along the same lines as Martins post on looking miserable when not.

Is this something anyone else has encountered or am I being weirder than normal?

Parents
  • Roy - I get this A LOT !!  Generally, I'm accused of being "angry" or "annoyed".......when I am not either of those things.  When I have something that I want to say properly, I often pause and take a breath = "people" seem to interpret this as me needing to 'calm myself down because I am so annoyed about it' = but that is NEVER the case.  Moreover, when I speak (or even more, when I don't speak) I am interpreted as being "moody"......which I am not.

    Although it is us autistic folk that seem to be endlessly told that WE have the problem with communication and understanding ..... in my case, it seems to be that either (a) THEY have the problem or (b) WE/I have a problem of somehow misrepresenting how I am feeling to other people.

  • Thank you, that’s how it all feels. I often take a deep breath and breathe out slowly before answering questions, that’s more me breathing through anxiety and processing the question, not me being angry. 

  • I like to take the pause, to ensure that I have the right words, in the right order, for the person who is about the receive them.  It is me being careful and caring towards the person I am speaking to - focusing my brain power, to honour them and their attention - before unleashing words.  Accordingly, I do feel very "irked" if they then say something like "OK mate, calm down, don't get your knickers in a twist about it!"

Reply
  • I like to take the pause, to ensure that I have the right words, in the right order, for the person who is about the receive them.  It is me being careful and caring towards the person I am speaking to - focusing my brain power, to honour them and their attention - before unleashing words.  Accordingly, I do feel very "irked" if they then say something like "OK mate, calm down, don't get your knickers in a twist about it!"

Children
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