Published on 12, July, 2020
Mine was when I started school. I remember sitting on a table with other children. I felt happy enough but then they all started what felt like a word dance that I didn't know the steps to and couldn't join in with. I remember feeling very alone and confused and panicky.. I mayve had my first shut down. Felt like i was in a washing machine and sound became a background thing. Suddenly couldn't understand them. That feeling still comes in a group of people.
What was your experience?
I did since I ever remember, in kindergarten. I thought I was a different species. It took me few years to figure out I’m the same species but still different. I was always terribly bad coordinated and for this reason also bullied and I haven’t played with other kids in the group. While they were playing together I sat and drew schemes of tram lines in my imagined city or other stuff. Generally my whole childhood and youth I hated myself and nobody ever recognized my struggles and helped me although I’m a female I showed quite stereotypical picture and I was picked by teachers but my mom refused to help me. Only recently I got the explanation of what was “wrong with me” and I started looking for help. Still undiagnosed.