Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey! I have a friend and he is diagnosed with autism, ocd and alexithymia. I can exactly tell you what the reasons for my friend would be to act like that. He often has the urge to say things back to people even without meaning it, because he trained this behaviour and got so much used to it. For him it would be that he would argument with still being on that trip, originally. So the time would be away from you, which would mean for him that you calculated that in so his time is kinda free to spend with others. My friend does not usually miss people. For him its enough to exchange 5-6 messages a day to have his "closeness bar" filled, even with people he is in a relationship. He has a very low need for contacts even if he really likes a person, as he knows the person is there and all is fine.The way you phrased what he said it appears that you might require more attention than the friend. Maybe (thats an assumption and maybe very wrong) he has to partly function in the relationship which is exhausting for him. It has nothing to do with how much he likes it, its just a general thing.Maybe when he is with you he knows the evenings get late and he was too tired for that and with his friend its a quick thing and maybe he didnt see that friend in a while and wanted to spend a smaller amount of time to keep the friendship going? I know my friend does that. He tries to spend with all friends a roughly set amount of time so he wont lose the friends. I think there are too many options. But one thing: My friend chooses what he does according to rarity, not people. That means if he could spend time with me, which he usually did very often, almost daily, and we set it up, he would cancel me for going to a BBQ with other friends. The reason for that is that the BBQ is less often than seeing me. Has 0 to do with how much he likes me, its just a logical choice for him depending on what he usually does more often.
This is not my post but thank you for your reply, which could make me cry as i do understand my BF better now , and it is such a relief