So how long does this "acceptance" sh*t take then?

Hmmm.......so 4 months into my 'diagnosed' state (48yo), and I'm not feeling a whole heap of acceptance. I am still feeling quite bitter and resentful. Everything I see around me in life and at work seems to have been, and continues to be, designed with a slightly different species in mind.

I have started reading this forum more often, even though I'm scared of keep seeing my reflection in these threads, and am following some overtly divergent contributors on Facebook. I was skeptical that at my age, with my history, that I could somehow find 'inner peace' (I mean, really - what the hell is that even supposed to mean?), but at the moment I'm heading in the opposite direction. Those long-cherished hopes of finding the right therapy, the right antidepressant to 'sort me out' seem absurd. 

I recall seeing a quite old entry on here where a user refers to feeling much better about the state of things 4 years in. FOUR YEARS? (yes, I am shouting). I don't think I can maintain even the current crumbling facade for another 3+ years. Especially now I recognize the effort I am putting in, and the energy this costs me.

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  • Baiting, is never an honourable way?!  [Disambiguation - I'm not trying to intimate that you are dishonourable Iain, but I am merely extending the humorous metaphor into equally 'dishonourable' reverse psychology baiting......but as we all know....nothing good can come from this.....the minute you need to try and explain, you know the cause is lost.....when you find it as difficult as me to explain myself to anyone.]  Communicating in this format is fraught with impossibilities for true clarity, aka "safe human."]

    Holy carp - I think I just labelled an ancient communication "programming language".......I think I will name it "safe human."  More catchy than "Facechat" or "InstaX"?  Any takers.....of the baiters? ... Jesus....I do hope not...feel like I've made a knot.....or perhaps a noose?!.....Oh Sheet....now I've used those words, I probably should have a TW to the start of this writing...........A    RR      GGGGGG HH HH H  HH HHH!!!!!

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