Published on 12, July, 2020
I have my chosen family. They love me and I love them. They don't socially reject me. They tell you that socialising is an important part of recovery. I'm quite asocial,but get bored with my own company at times. I'm no longer willing to make the effort to socialise. I don't need and want more social rejection. Not that I can do much socialising anyway, as I'm housebound without help.
The tragedy of Autism for many is that humans are not meant to survive in isolation. Many of us will choose to live that way because of the alternative. Many of us will convince ourselves we are happy that way for long periods of time. But because we are human as well as Autistic we will never be truly happy alone and will only slowly become more psychologically damaged by it.
Sometimes it's a case of 'Choose your poison'.
I seem to contradict myself on this daily. Sometimes I'm like "I never want a friend again" and other times I'm happy to talk to new people. I know exactly why I'm caught in the middle, but it's largely bad experiences that influence it.