Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm 43 and got diagnosed as autistic only 2 months ago. I found the diagnosis both enlightening and validating because it explains so many aspects of my personality, why my brain may process things differently than most people, and why I struggled so much socially growing up.
Apart from the usual "urgh, I'm getting old" feeling, which most people feel when it's their birthday, I usually feel fine about my birthday; almost a little excited. This last week, however, I keep having angry, intrusive thoughts about work and friends, and feeling even more irritated about minor things than usual e.g. friends reading WhatsApp messages and not replying.
I also feel quite sad and lonely, but I don't know why it's come on so quickly as I felt happy just a few days ago. It's almost like I'm expecting my birthday to be a real disappointment and I'm feeling sad and angry in advance of that happening. Has anyone else experienced this, and if so, how do you pick yourself back up? Thanks :)
I can relate to this. There also the demand of deciding who to see and where to go and all that, I find it a little bit stressy.
Those intrusive thoughts are worse for me when my battery is low. Maybe you need an "autistic rest" to recharge, avoid the triggers for a few days and let your self have a breather?
And also .....congratulations on the diagnosis and happy birthday!
Thank you very much :)
I ended up having a lovely birthday, but have since felt quite down. I think you're right - I need an "autistic rest" to recharge as it's been rather overwhelming. Thanks for your lovely message.