Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I'm in my late 50s - have just had a diagnosis of autism confirmed.
Certainly, as an adult I'm very structured and have fixed routines (prefer to do the same thing each day, eat the same thing for days on end, really struggle with social anxiety which I think manage with 'scripting' but a lot of this has become second nature, I have a couple of artistic interests which I get very focused on to the exclusion of other things). I think I might be alexithymic in that I have a very poor sense of what my own emotional state is, but I'm pretty good at reading other people's states.
While the diagnosis has led me to a few "oh of course" moments, it's also been really confusing since as a child I don't think I exhibited any of the signs that are associated with autism. Similarly, I can make eye contact with people and feel as though I'm pretty empathetic and know what to do in social situations.
All of this has got me doubting my diagnosis and wondering if I'm autistic at all? In fact, rather than giving me answers I feel a bit like my identity up to now has been taken away?
Any advice in dealing with this would be really appreciated.
I defo relate to this. Diagnosed at 40, the ongoing exploration and realisation of problems I've encountered in life are because of this, but still somehow often feels like a dream even though I know it's true. I think this feeling of detachment from it is a way for your brain to cope with the identity change that is occurring. Slowly opening up and discussing this with others (acceptance) is starting to bear fruit. Will always be hard though, the questions of self-doubt in many situations will be a lifelong experience from diagnosis onwards I feel.
On the positive side though, even though we didn't know before, we weren't living our true lives. Now we are. The stigmas attached to neurodiversity, disability, or other related challenges are real yes, but remember, they are other people/society's problem. You/we are perfect as we are.
I recommend daily meditation. Has helped me refind my core
I know that this was in answer to the original post, but I can so relate to this. Thank you for posting.
What type of meditation do you use please. X
Guided. I use the Calm app. Or sometimes an app called 'Insight Timer'. I also take time with bare feet and walk in nature sometimes to just breath, this has been shown to reduce stress and inflammation.