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Not Using My Name

Cat Loving Man
2 months ago

Here is my thought today.

Does anyone have the experience I have that you are friendly say to a neighbour as I have been for many years you say hello and use their name but they never use mine.

Also in my road rather cruel the unfriendly people I know refer to me as him that man or to my Sister your brother.Any advice on how I can deal with this horrible de personalisation?

Second issue with business relationship they use my Christian name which I like and have said to do so.Then when there is a problem they de personalise by going back to calling me MR.

I love my Christian name and also its shortening that can be used I hate my surname.Any thoughts on a way did deal with these people and do other people get the same as me?

I also personally find it patronising the other extreme when my Christian name is used constantly in a conversation.My horrible step brother does this and it is not done in a friendly way.

My Dad practically never uses my name nor does he call me Son.So there it is I will be interested to get some views and advice.

Thanks Everyone

Parents
  • 2 months ago

    I sometimes jokingly say that as long as it's not something offensive, I have no objection to what people call me.

    When I was young, I didn't particularly like my first name and surname and felt uncomfortable when people said it. However, this changed after I became an adult.

    Admittedly, there are certain occasions when I do dislike hearing my name being said. An example of this is when I am in the waiting room at my surgery. When the GPs are ready to see their next patient, the patient's name will not only be displayed on a wall-mounted screen for all to see, but broadcast over a speaker system... "[Name of patient] to room 5 please". I'm just not comfortable with the other people in the waiting room knowing my name, and then looking at me as I make my way to the GPs room. It's unwelcome attention.

    During the run up to the General Election, I have not welcomed the various political parties using my name on the stuff they have been sending me in the post. As I have not consented to them using my name, I see it as an invasion of my privacy. With any other kind of post (formal and informal), I have no objection.

    As for my neighbours (the ones I know and speak to), they all call me by my first name, or a shortened version of it. What they call me when I'm out of earshot is another matter entirely. Wink

Reply
  • 2 months ago

    I sometimes jokingly say that as long as it's not something offensive, I have no objection to what people call me.

    When I was young, I didn't particularly like my first name and surname and felt uncomfortable when people said it. However, this changed after I became an adult.

    Admittedly, there are certain occasions when I do dislike hearing my name being said. An example of this is when I am in the waiting room at my surgery. When the GPs are ready to see their next patient, the patient's name will not only be displayed on a wall-mounted screen for all to see, but broadcast over a speaker system... "[Name of patient] to room 5 please". I'm just not comfortable with the other people in the waiting room knowing my name, and then looking at me as I make my way to the GPs room. It's unwelcome attention.

    During the run up to the General Election, I have not welcomed the various political parties using my name on the stuff they have been sending me in the post. As I have not consented to them using my name, I see it as an invasion of my privacy. With any other kind of post (formal and informal), I have no objection.

    As for my neighbours (the ones I know and speak to), they all call me by my first name, or a shortened version of it. What they call me when I'm out of earshot is another matter entirely. Wink

Children
  • 2 months ago in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    the doctor thing is so true they should probably just give miners for calling so number 25 your turn.I agree about personalisation  when you get it in the post unsolicited do they think we are stupid and they know us!

    My point about names is that neighbours deliberately de personalise me by using 3rd person and not saying hello and my name after.I have started deliberately getting their names wrong is that silly or good ?