Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone,
before I begin, I'm very new here and I've already done an over-shary post about my conundrum - I just wanted to double check it is okay for me to participate in the community while going through the journey of figuring out neurodivergence (I'm at the "need to decide whether to do an assessment" stage). Let me know if this is okay.
This is something has been floating in my head tonight and thought to see if there are any late diagnosed adults who could share their takes.
I just recently read someone's youtube comment on the fact that they were taught as children to look at people's lips instead of making eye contact, and it got me thinking...
One of the first thing I thought regarding my own eye contact while going through traits is "of course I don't have difficulties with it", and other people told me so as well when opening up about it.
But then I soon after remembered that I've been focusing on reading lips since I'm a teen, and that I remember consciously deciding to do so to either "help myself hear better" (partially because I've always had a bit of a problem with listening) and because "it would be cool to be able to read lips"... I also have an interesting tendency to stare at strangers (or random things), that sometimes gets me into trouble (and defo got me into trouble as a kid with parents).
After realising that, I've started somehow noticing how, when I look at people's eye during a conversation, it feels like there's some sort of horror movie style dramatic zoom situation happening in my head, or that, if I don't, I barely remember even looking at the person (if not for the lip trick).
So I guess, in a way, I kinda automatically taught myself how to deal with eye contact?
Has anyone ever experienced anything similar through their journey, or any other interesting story regarding eye contact? I'd be very curious to know!
Thanks again
Hi I am not diagnosed and reached the age where little point going through it. I realized I am autistic after my son was diagnosed and had been doing research on autism. I also realized that my deceased father must have been autistic. I discovered when I joined this forum that difficulties I had that I knew no one else with the same were similar to others on here. For me this was enough, but something you need to decide for yourself.
Regarding your question about eye contact. I remember friends at school and others since asking why I wasn't making eye contact, which made me feel awkward and didn't know what to say. I have learnt to try to look at noses or lips to give the impression of eye contact.
Regarding staring, that is also something I find myself doing at times. Then I don't know where to look. I think sometimes I kind of go into a trance and don't realize at first I am doing it. Or maybe you could call it daydreaming. Sometimes I am just pondering on something random regarding a stranger before I realize I am staring.