Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey everyone,I just joined this forum in search for advice from other autistic people. I feel like I'm going crazy. Long story short - a couple of weeks ago I joined a book club. I didn't like it very much because almost everyone was very extroverted and talked a lot - not to me though. I have very bad social anxiety and am very shy, so I wasn't able to say anything to anyone. I stressed out sooo much about this damn book club, the next meeting would be on Wednesday this week, but I felt so stressed and anxious that I canceled. I said I'm not going for now, maybe I'll try again in a couple of months. But now I feel regret and am very worried that I'm missing an opportunity here... Since I'm very shy and anxious, I'm also very lonely. I don't have many friends, and the ones I do have mainly live elsewhere, not close to my home. I guess basically I'm just asking for validation, and for reassurance that I won't necessarily be alone forever. That I won't die alone. That life can change one day. Note: I am technically going to therapy, but my therapist is currently sick and won't be back until August. I'd love to talk to my therapist right now, but it's not possible. Really sucks. Can anyone share their experiences with me here? Is there maybe anyone here who once felt terribly lonely but has found their people since? I just need hope. I don't want to be alone forever.
NAS94679 said:I guess basically I'm just asking for validation, and for reassurance that I won't necessarily be alone forever. That I won't die alone. That life can change one day.
It can change for the better, but you need to take control of the anxiety first and stop it controlling you.
As you are a reader I would suggest having a look at:
Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety - A Guide to Successful Stress Management - Nick Dubin (2009)ISBN 9781843108955
In my opinion this is the primary blocker for your situation. Deal with this and the knock on effects can be very positive and make the other interactions more rewarding.
It isn't a cure-all and there will always be times when it rears its head but with the techniques you learn you can bring it back to managable levels again.
That would be my approach - it worked for me.