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Do you hate people?

lina-chan
3 months ago

Hi there, I'm not sure how to start this post.

I feel that I have become pessimistic when it comes to people. For context, I am an autistic woman in her early 20's; I have unfortunately had poor experiences in my life where I've been ostracised/bullied in secondary school and also verbally abused/gaslit by extended family. I've also had bad experiences with friendships where people always used me and took advantage of my kind-hearted nature. Because of these experiences, I have come to hate most people as I feel that the majority have ulterior motives and only want to befriend you or be in a relationship so they can take advantage of you.

One thing that kind of helps is I do have quality friends in my life (some of which are autistic) who accept me as I am, the same applies to my parents/aunt. I recently met an Italian guy online via Instagram; for context he follows my YouTube channel and Instagram account where I post art and gaming related stuff - he is also into gaming like myself and has the same socials/Twitch acc. When I talk to him, I feel a nice warmth inside because he understands me and he does show signs of autism/possible ADHD. 

I feel that it is very hard to trust people nowadays and I often guard myself and don't talk about certain things like my mental health, I am used to faking that everything is OK so nobody judges me.

Parents
  • 3 months ago

    Yep, kind-hearted people are taken advantage of the majority of the time. There's a difference in helping people because you want to, versus being forced to do something you didn't want to do, or else people will get angry at you, or say and do bad things to you. It doesn't mean that you should hate everyone. It just means that when you encounter the types of people who are selfish and who will take advantage of you, to have boundaries with them, or just leave them completely. 

    Being kind-hearted and helping people are wonderful traits to have, but I would say that your time is important. Spending your time helping those who will appreciate your kindness, is better than spending time helping those who are selfish and greedy and gets angry and demands the world of you, and if you don't do what they want, they say negative things about you or do bad things to you behind your back. You don't need those kinds of people in your life.

    I mean, you might be the type that wants nothing back for helping someone, but everyone always gives you something in return. Those who appreciate your help will give you appreciation in return, whereas those who are selfish will give you negativity in return. 

    So learn to have some boundaries to say no, to have some assertive skills, to say what's on your mind, because some people are completely demanding and unreasonable, and for those kinds of people, there's only so much you can do about that, before you just have to leave them as they are, and find other people who will appreciate you for who you are, and what you do for them. 

Reply
  • 3 months ago

    Yep, kind-hearted people are taken advantage of the majority of the time. There's a difference in helping people because you want to, versus being forced to do something you didn't want to do, or else people will get angry at you, or say and do bad things to you. It doesn't mean that you should hate everyone. It just means that when you encounter the types of people who are selfish and who will take advantage of you, to have boundaries with them, or just leave them completely. 

    Being kind-hearted and helping people are wonderful traits to have, but I would say that your time is important. Spending your time helping those who will appreciate your kindness, is better than spending time helping those who are selfish and greedy and gets angry and demands the world of you, and if you don't do what they want, they say negative things about you or do bad things to you behind your back. You don't need those kinds of people in your life.

    I mean, you might be the type that wants nothing back for helping someone, but everyone always gives you something in return. Those who appreciate your help will give you appreciation in return, whereas those who are selfish will give you negativity in return. 

    So learn to have some boundaries to say no, to have some assertive skills, to say what's on your mind, because some people are completely demanding and unreasonable, and for those kinds of people, there's only so much you can do about that, before you just have to leave them as they are, and find other people who will appreciate you for who you are, and what you do for them. 

Children
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