Published on 12, July, 2020
I have been feeling more unfulfilled and stuck as time goes on. I think the world doesn't want me to change and be better. I have been let down by counselling, support groups that were quietly discontinued and online communities elsewhere where there are plenty of autistic people looking for belonging but seem to ignore each other and stay in their own spheres.
I feel that many autistic people express a desire for romance, independence, happiness but most are unwilling or unsure how to make it happen. They are so accustomed to their ways and lifestyles they can't imagine anything else.
I however recognise the deficiencies in my character and since professionals or otherwise are either unable or unwilling to support me I have to support myself. I am teaching myself social and coping skills, making small changes to my usual habits and found a local walking group I am in the process of joining.
I am also learning how to be more sociable to improve my chances of making a friend and one day a romantic partner.
Good for you, no amount of counselling or therapy will work if you don't want to change, theres no magic wand. Making small changes will make up to a big change in how you live and how you feel about yourself.
I think a lot of autistic people are taught to have no control in their lives and that they can't' make desicions and that the things that want are unrealistic and wrong and that they have to have an NT to tell them how to live and what to do, which is totally wrong and even more disabling. OK not everyone will be totally capable of independent living, but I think more people are than we're led to believe.