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Is this normal ?

Justbe

Hi,

I was wondering if any of you have experienced this.

I've seen this guy in a group setting a few times, but last week I got the feeling that he 'likes' me. I may be being judgemental, by assuming he is not right for me (especially, when I don't know him that well).

But never the less, I keep thinking about him. I think about him holding me and looking out for me. Nothing beyond that. It's just fantasy. Is this normal ? When the reality is it won't happen. 

Please don't think, that I think I'm 'all that' because that is not the case at all. 

Parents

  • Yes this is totally normal. I think perhaps what you may be doing here is overthinking the issue a little bit. This is a symptom of anxiety which many of us on here also struggle with. I also often find myself overthinking what I am thinking about or doing on any given occasion. Even though you may or may not get to know this individual further it is still normal to fantasise a bit. I have fantasised about people also that there is zero chance of getting with it is human nature. It is the element of overthinking this fact that is what I am seeing here. I wish you luck regardless with whatever you decide to do.

Reply

  • Yes this is totally normal. I think perhaps what you may be doing here is overthinking the issue a little bit. This is a symptom of anxiety which many of us on here also struggle with. I also often find myself overthinking what I am thinking about or doing on any given occasion. Even though you may or may not get to know this individual further it is still normal to fantasise a bit. I have fantasised about people also that there is zero chance of getting with it is human nature. It is the element of overthinking this fact that is what I am seeing here. I wish you luck regardless with whatever you decide to do.

Children
  • in reply to Yellow tree 118

    Thank you.

    I feel like a fish out of water. I have virtually no experience in this field.

    I think I'm driving myself crazy because I'm trying to analyse everything.

    And yes I'm fantasising too. I wish I didn't do this and I try to distract myself. Because to me it just sets things up to fail - because nothing is perfect (i have a fairy tale playing out in my head), and it just makes me feel more alone when I do this. Tired, and I start to put myself down.

    And at the end of the day, I might be reading him totally wrong. And he might not like me at all. 

    About 5 or 6 years ago I spent a year with a guy. We were just friends, but I sometimes wondered if it would change into being something more. I wasn't really attracted to him physically. But we got on really well.  He definitely behaved as though he wanted more on occasions.

    Then one day I wrote him an email explaining how I felt about him (confused) and how i valued him. The reply I received shocked me. 

    He send  me a bullet point email as to why we couldn't be together, it was all based around our age difference, but it was without warmth and was very cold. I hadn't said anything to justify him being like that.

    That experience has really knocked my confidence. Which wasn't great to begin with to be honest. 

    I guess it's just a case of wait and see. X