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Is this a common experience?

HMO
3 months ago

In friendships in the past, I used to believe that if I was not someone's favourite person (or one of their favourites), I was unimportant to them. Or that I could be easily replaced.

I realise now that that feeling was probably a sign that it wasn't going to work out, and I didn't communicate things as clearly.

I wondered if anyone else has felt this.

Parents
  • 3 months ago

    Hi HMO

    I can relate to this but it’s more with my partner than my friends. We have been together for a long time and have children. I often think I have done something wrong and always think I have upset others as I always tend to think people are cross with me. Maybe in my case it’s an inability to be able to read people in general and assume the worst but it’s annoying. 
    My best friend is my dad and tbh no one will ever measure up to him so I’m only ever going to be disappointed. I do have friends but 99% of them have disappointed me at some point, either by doing something morally questionable or being completely selfish. Those are 2 of my pet hates and struggle to let it go. 
    Have you tried any local groups where perhaps there are people there that you could relate to in a better way? I have not tried this myself but have heard on here how beneficial it can be just to be around others that are from your own tribe. 


    I hope you find some answers and wish you good luck 

Reply
  • 3 months ago

    Hi HMO

    I can relate to this but it’s more with my partner than my friends. We have been together for a long time and have children. I often think I have done something wrong and always think I have upset others as I always tend to think people are cross with me. Maybe in my case it’s an inability to be able to read people in general and assume the worst but it’s annoying. 
    My best friend is my dad and tbh no one will ever measure up to him so I’m only ever going to be disappointed. I do have friends but 99% of them have disappointed me at some point, either by doing something morally questionable or being completely selfish. Those are 2 of my pet hates and struggle to let it go. 
    Have you tried any local groups where perhaps there are people there that you could relate to in a better way? I have not tried this myself but have heard on here how beneficial it can be just to be around others that are from your own tribe. 


    I hope you find some answers and wish you good luck 

Children
  • 3 months ago in reply to Take5
    Take5 said:
    Those are 2 of my pet hates and struggle to let it go.

    They are also something 99% of neurotypicals do at some point or another. Learning to let go is an important life skill that can save so much pain in the long run.

    Mindfulness is a great way to help you get to grips with it and use your rational brain to beat up the irrational part.