our boy is about to be diagnosed with asd my wife is pregnant

IntenseWorld said:

@Hope this is not about living up to examples of people on the spectrum who have made such achievements or comparing role models, it is about a panicking OP who needs to stop panicking and realising that there are positives as well as negatives.

True, but I'm not sure that this is best shown by the very atypical examples.  Extreme examples are useful to make a point, but not so much as a basis for planning lives because they are just that: extreme examples.  The odds are quite strongly against any of us or the OP's children becoming famous.  But the odds, with the right support, of an autistic person becoming a useful and valued member of society and having a fulfilling life are much better.  I'd rather think that all autistic people are valuable and can offer something to society, and deserve the right support to achieve this than think that maybe there is some chance that a few might one day be famous.

Also, as Francesca Martinez has pointed out very eloquently, anybody can become disabled at any time.  At the moment I am physically fit and able, but this could change any day.  What we need is not to try and avoid disabled people being born, but a society that accepts and accommodates all people and where all people are valued regardless of disability.

I don't think that speaking is necessary to be a part of society, or a part of a family.  People communicate in different ways e.g. www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnylM1hI2jc.  

IntenseWorld said:

@Hope this is not about living up to examples of people on the spectrum who have made such achievements or comparing role models, it is about a panicking OP who needs to stop panicking and realising that there are positives as well as negatives.

True, but I'm not sure that this is best shown by the very atypical examples.  Extreme examples are useful to make a point, but not so much as a basis for planning lives because they are just that: extreme examples.  The odds are quite strongly against any of us or the OP's children becoming famous.  But the odds, with the right support, of an autistic person becoming a useful and valued member of society and having a fulfilling life are much better.  I'd rather think that all autistic people are valuable and can offer something to society, and deserve the right support to achieve this than think that maybe there is some chance that a few might one day be famous.

Also, as Francesca Martinez has pointed out very eloquently, anybody can become disabled at any time.  At the moment I am physically fit and able, but this could change any day.  What we need is not to try and avoid disabled people being born, but a society that accepts and accommodates all people and where all people are valued regardless of disability.

I don't think that speaking is necessary to be a part of society, or a part of a family.  People communicate in different ways e.g. www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnylM1hI2jc.