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My appraisal

aimosan

I just received my appraisal last week and a few things appeared in it that I'm not really surprised about.

 

1.  I become flustered when I come across a new problem or situation.

2.  I become flustered when I meet new people.

3.  I work well on my own once given specific instructions for a task.

4.  Can be quite blunt and abrupt when talking to people.

 

Overall it was a good appraisal.  They understand why the above points were made and they just accept me for who I am, but there are other people in the business who don't understand me as much as my colleagues in my section and I've been told I have to try and get to know them and conversate with them a bit more.  The people in this department are higher up than me, more technical people in the IT industry.  I'm told that not getting on with them may affect my chances of moving on up in the world.  I do get on with a few of them, but a few of them are quite social people and like to brown nose, I think the term is, and will do whatever it takes to make themselves look better.  I don't take any of that nonsense so I do cause friction between me and them sometimes when I catch them out.

The thing is I don't want to move on up in the world of IT, I'm only here for job security and money, and the fact I can do this job at a basic level.  I'm very good at my job but I don't enjoy it, which is maybe why I have no problem challenging authority.  I did this all the time in school classes I didn't particular enjoy.  Probably bored.  I spend my lunchtimes reading science magazines and chemistry textbooks, because that is what I enjoy and in school I never fell out with any of my science or art teachers.

I've tried to explain to my employers that I've worked very hard over the years to increase my social skills, but there's a fine line between being more social and being someone I am not.  They try and encourage me to do what I can but I really don't think I'm going to change any.  Except, maybe stop being so blunt with my boss.  Maybe.

 

Problem is I've lost a lot of my confidence but I would like a job where social interaction isn't the main focus.  I feel much better now I'm not one of the people that has to answer the phone all day, but I do have to go out and visit people throughout the day to sort their IT problems and I feel awkward when they're sitting about me trying to make small talk while I work on something I'm not all that interested in.  I also don't know if just raising my confidence here would help or if going to a different job would be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire, as my last manager said.  I don't want to make things worse for myself.

Parents

  • I endured a lot of this nonsense throughout my career - objections to my differences that when they came to a head never amounted to more than vaguaries and hearsay, but the process is humiliating and does nothing for confidence or self esteem.

    I have been trying to make NAS more aware of the problem via other posting. People on the spectrum in the workplace are subjected to this sort of undermining criticism, even though the diagnosis ought to be sufficient to explain it. I think however ignorance of day to day living with autism means employers do not fully understand that not being able to socially connect properly really means difficulties of this sort should not be drummed out at appraisals.

    Its like criticising a blind person for not looking where they are going.

    NAS needs to do more to increase employers' awareness of what autism involves, although part of the problem (sorry IW for slipping it in again) the Triad of Impairments doesn't adequately explain away these difficulties, so I can understand why employers are puzzled.

    I got criticised at appraisals for not having the right facial expression, being the wrong distance from people, not sounding intelligent enough, not asking people how they are at appropriate moments I ought to have spotted etc etc. And the often stated - "we still feel there is something wrong but we cannot put a finger on it" or "there's something not quite right about you and it is up to you to sort it"

    It is humiliating and demoralising to have to put up with this, especially after you've made known you have asperger's or autism.

    Also I agree with what OP refers to as "brown nosing". Work environments have a hierarchy or "pecking-order". You're supposed to work out for yourself where you are in the hierarchy and make yourself appropriately grovelling or "going out of your way to please" or "adopting the right tone" etc,., but if you are on the autistic spectrum you cannot possibly work this out.

    NAS really has to wake up and pay attention to this, as it keeps cropping up on postings. The DDA doesn't cover this kind of communication inequality, and this is what makes it tough for people on the spectrum in the workplace.

    We need supportive action NOW. The PUSH FOR ACTION campaign should have included the workplace (even if only 15% of us are in steady work - though what that actually means given the assumption "if you work you cannot have autism" is lost to me.)

Reply

  • I endured a lot of this nonsense throughout my career - objections to my differences that when they came to a head never amounted to more than vaguaries and hearsay, but the process is humiliating and does nothing for confidence or self esteem.

    I have been trying to make NAS more aware of the problem via other posting. People on the spectrum in the workplace are subjected to this sort of undermining criticism, even though the diagnosis ought to be sufficient to explain it. I think however ignorance of day to day living with autism means employers do not fully understand that not being able to socially connect properly really means difficulties of this sort should not be drummed out at appraisals.

    Its like criticising a blind person for not looking where they are going.

    NAS needs to do more to increase employers' awareness of what autism involves, although part of the problem (sorry IW for slipping it in again) the Triad of Impairments doesn't adequately explain away these difficulties, so I can understand why employers are puzzled.

    I got criticised at appraisals for not having the right facial expression, being the wrong distance from people, not sounding intelligent enough, not asking people how they are at appropriate moments I ought to have spotted etc etc. And the often stated - "we still feel there is something wrong but we cannot put a finger on it" or "there's something not quite right about you and it is up to you to sort it"

    It is humiliating and demoralising to have to put up with this, especially after you've made known you have asperger's or autism.

    Also I agree with what OP refers to as "brown nosing". Work environments have a hierarchy or "pecking-order". You're supposed to work out for yourself where you are in the hierarchy and make yourself appropriately grovelling or "going out of your way to please" or "adopting the right tone" etc,., but if you are on the autistic spectrum you cannot possibly work this out.

    NAS really has to wake up and pay attention to this, as it keeps cropping up on postings. The DDA doesn't cover this kind of communication inequality, and this is what makes it tough for people on the spectrum in the workplace.

    We need supportive action NOW. The PUSH FOR ACTION campaign should have included the workplace (even if only 15% of us are in steady work - though what that actually means given the assumption "if you work you cannot have autism" is lost to me.)

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