Published on 12, July, 2020
In my youth I did not care about friends and being alone seemed normal to me until I started to be bullied and ostracised in school.
From my late 20s up to now I used to beat myself up over not making the effort to reach out to people and make friends and not having a close relationship outside my family.
Now, I realise those unfulfilled desires were making me unhappy, so I said *** it and mostly embraced being alone. There are worse things to be than single and I'm better off without those pressures.
I like my afternoon naps, playing on my Switch and building models and not worrying about pleasing anyone but myself.
If I could I would take my romantic, sexual and social yearnings, drop them in a bin and light it on fire.
I still have my family and they have me, for better or worse.
An interesting phenom for me is that if I don't interact with people and, instead, focus a great deal on solitary special interest for more than 3 days - even writing and the like - I readily lose my language skills and then when I again interact with others verbally I am very clumsy.
Speech, for me needs to reinforced or I can lose it. I also feel that being selective and choosing supportive people to be around helps with these transitions. transitions can be hard.
Writing is different and a lot easier and I have a lot of people I exchange letters, emails and text with. But I do need also to be around people in person sometimes to develop social and emotional skills, meet my needs, and not become isolated.
There are a lot more unmasked people on the spectrum out and about these days too and they are easy to have exchanges with. This is one of the big reasons I go to the gym X3 a week.
There is a lot to be said for maturity & understanding ones self.Accepting yourself & like yourself for who you are puts you in a must better position for having a relationship.It's sad to hear of so many peeps on the Autistic spectrum talking about wishing they had no yearnings for intimate relationships.
I wish there was a simple answer to solve this dilemma. I am in a similar position myself in which I am coming to terms with the fact that I will most prob spend the rest of my life on my own. And that is something I don't want. But cannot see how a future with someone else is possible.
How do I meet that someone special, like me, with similar interests & needs??
Early twenties and I honestly see no benefit or enjoyment in socialising. I am not even remotely interested in dating or making friends.
Loss of all sexual feelings was a massive benefit of menopause, I felt like I had an extension in my head, now as is the way of extensions, it's full of other rubbish!
I have a couple of family members and a couple of friends, but no one who I really converse with as opposed to passing the time of day. I miss conversations about interesting things, were ideas are bounced around.
I would like a relationship, but I get too possessive with women. Plus, I would end up going out with a female young enough to be my daughter.
I enjoy some friends who have similar interest, who have a complementary character, and some who are also on the spectrum.
I also enjoy being with myself and need about 6 hours a day on my own, sometimes a few days that way.
I know people say never say never, but for the foreseeable future I have to keep things manageable.
It's the less is more approach for me. If anyone chooses to talk to me, I will put everything I can in the conversation, but I won't have expectations for anything to come from it.
Same for me also. Now avoid social interactions at all costs, and just do what interests me. If people don’t like me for that, I no longer care.
I'm in that situation now. I went through a phase in my early-mid 20s where I'd get really annoyed that someone didn't want to speak to me, but I don't let it bother me now.