Published on 12, July, 2020
First thread I've started in a while, something I battle with and want to get everyone's thoughts on.
I find I'm quite "paranoid", In the sense that I always assumed the worst, I assume the worst will happen and assume that if people are nice to me that they actually don't mean it, they're just covering the fact that they don't like me, or they're saying that they think I want to hear.
I think there's many reasons for this, I'm worse when burnt out, I think self esteem and confidence play a role (who could like me?! I don't!) previous experiences like at school many years ago when everyone was talking behind people's backs, then being nice to their face and right upto today where I see the same behaviour.
I find I trust very few people or situations. If I'm burnt out I find I don't trust those close to me as much, which upsets me.
I know a little bit of awareness and not being too trusting is sensible and a natural defence mechanism, but it seems quite a lot more.
Is it just me? Or is this a common thing with the "tizm" ?
I imagine the test for "too paranoid" is, if people show themselves entirely trustworthy on multiple occasions, do you still distrust them and their motivation?
Always a little reluctant to trust People but when they have shown to be trustworthy I usually am more trusting, but I am not sure it's ever without question.