Hello, I am a 24-year-old autistic woman. I work at a pub and have been on the bar but mostly work in the kitchen. A few coworkers know I’m autistic and adhd as I’ve mentioned it, but I feel I fit in and hide it quite well. No one has been particularly surprised but I struggle with ‘banter’ and the usual social conventions (not reciprocating questions, interrupting, suddenly becoming quiet). I don’t know how to accept this part of myself - I come away from work every day and ruminate over everything I misstepped when speaking to people. It’s a very social job as most are and I’ve made it as unsocial as possible (solo shifts in the kitchen) but I just don’t know how to relax there. I’m recently diagnosed so on the other hand I also feel like I’m masking a lot and that people think I’m not ‘autistic’ enough or it’s ‘not that bad’ (I know this isn’t the correct terminology, it’s just one I’ve heard people use). Would just like to relax a bit more and be a bit kinder to those parts of myself but it’s hard, especially with customers.