How to be independent on the spectrum with anxiety?

Hi I am an autistic adult who is 21 and am really struggling at the moment with my life skills. I am currently taking music as a course in which is an interest of mine however I am struggling to communicate and have no friends apart from one that isn't on my course who I met from somewhere else. So can be very lonely most of the time. 

At the moment I am very shut off about my interests as well as other general conversation in which I feel uncomfortable with even other autistic individuals. It's like I wish to talk to people but I shut off and find myself unable to talk. Sometimes I end up trying to dissociate and stare deep into thin air in which I have been caught on a couple occasions doing. I almost feel like there is a world inside my head and nobody actually knows me because all my thoughts are kept inside. 

Another issue on hand is that I am unable to go out by myself as I am scared about bad things happening to me. I am scared because I am a woman but also because I feel like a very vulnerable adult. I feel as if it is strangers I am the most scared of because of crime that I hear about. I also have a history of a difficult relationship about a year ago which is still impacting me. I feel as if I have a lot of emotional wounds as this person was quite abusive which I think is impacting all of this as well as a lack of support. I have had therapy to do with this as well as social anxiety.  

Parents
  • I'm starting to sound like I work for her with me recommending this, but Steph Jones' "The Autistic Guide To Therapy" has been a great help to me. It points out the areas where some conventional methods in therapy may not always be suitable to autistics. It's not a magic wand but it is very validating. I'm 50+ and I still dissociate and shut off and spent all my life feeling guilty about it because I was told I was in the wrong. I have some similar anxieties still and I'm a man, so I can only sympathize. 

Reply
  • I'm starting to sound like I work for her with me recommending this, but Steph Jones' "The Autistic Guide To Therapy" has been a great help to me. It points out the areas where some conventional methods in therapy may not always be suitable to autistics. It's not a magic wand but it is very validating. I'm 50+ and I still dissociate and shut off and spent all my life feeling guilty about it because I was told I was in the wrong. I have some similar anxieties still and I'm a man, so I can only sympathize. 

Children