Published on 12, July, 2020
I dated an autistic guy in February this year since then we have been talking, i really like him, I've told him how i feel, and I want a relationship, but he is struggling after losing his job 3 months ago and wont commit to seeing me again. He's recently opened up to me and said he struggles to fit in, he has nothing to bring to a relationship, his life is complicated and he is struggling. He has no friends, and no girlfriend for 10 years, I am doubtful if he's ever had a girlfriend and i am not sure if this is another reason he wont date me again as he has no confidence in himself. I keep getting frustrated with the situation, it's affecting him and he gets down. he's told me he likes me but cannot tell me how he feels when i ask him. He can easily walk away with no emotions, and i get upset. Clearly he's not interested in a relationship but enjoys my company i feel maybe i am comforting him as he also said he's lonely. He longs for something meaningful but cannot see the bigger picture. We met on a dating site so I am hoping he's just going through a hard time. I keep telling myself to be patient and he will change and want to see me. I would like some advice what to do with the situation as I am not autistic.
Autistic people are often very moral. I know that in my younger years I didn't respond to young women who even I recognised (autistic people often do not recognise non-verbal cues) were interested in me, because I was unemployed and considered that I had nothing to offer them. Not to be boastful, but one time a very intelligent and attractive young woman essentially threw herself at me, but I didn't catch because I was 10 years older than she was. In retrospect, a relationship with me would not have harmed her in any way, as I am a kind, loyal and generous person. This stiff and often inappropriate moral sense can be crippling for autistics. I eventually found my ideal partner and have been married, to a neurotypical woman, for 27 years. Autistic people in relationships are very often entirely loyal and reliable.
Yes he is the same. He has morals, he's caring, loyal, and a lovely person. This is why i am attracted to him. He actually had a similar experience with a young attractive girl who was interested in him but he didn't agree with her moral standards.
Its nice to hear you have been married 27 years