Nvm

Can I ask, based on what you were saying about it being a "night out" - had you had a few drinks?

No my autistic brain wants to leap in here and ask you not to expect some finger wagging criticism if you did, it's just useful information.  I like a drink, I drink normally 3 times a week  I tend to be within the bosom of my family so it's never challenging or stimulating. 

However, there have been times when I've had some alcohol in my system and it has massively impaired my ability to regulate or manage when out and about.  Best summed up with the time I sat on my own in a car park all night (not in a car either!) rather than be with my G/F at a friends wedding - she was maid of honour as well.  If I was my normal self, I would have masked up and joined in with Irish Dancing and polite nodding, but because alcohol was present it took the edge off my coping strategies and I resorted to basic, childish behaviour.

I don't think you can "handle" a melt down, it's like asking how do you contain an explosion. It's probably easier to think how you can prevent meltdowns from happening as often as you can.

There's probably always going to be a threat of something going off when you least expect it. But self-referencing an earlier post I made, I recommend READING and LEARNING and TALKING and POSTING QUESTIONS ON ASD FORUMS to gather more information about Autism, learn about the processing style to build up your own familiarities with this.

You sound like you've got a good sense of self-reflection, you've mentioned all the triggers

- novel location and activity
- no headphones
- no fidget
- no nail polish
- loud music

If you were managing a peanut allergy and you went out somewhere and people were throwing snickers, eating peanut butter sandwich's and there was a banner on the stage announcing "celebrating 50 years of planters peanuts" - alarm bells would ring, you'd make your apologies and leave.

I think recognising and giving respect to yourself and your own autism is important, be good to yourself and if you find yourself in an environment (for whatever reason) is going to push you to a psychologically challenging place, because of your Autism - let the inner security guard step in, throw the metaphorical blanket over your head and escort you out the building.

There's been a few times I've had to say "Sorry about this, I'm finding being here just too difficult, sorry there's just too much going on, I'm going to have to leave". The more Neurotypicals learn about ASD, the more people will learn this is normal - you're avoiding those things toxic to a person with autism.

I've had a few socials where a drink has left me similar to you sat on that carpark, nice to know it's not just me!

Im less harsh on myself for these things since diagnosis but I know how hard they are on my wife, wish I could change that as the risk of pushing her away is a big worry, although she says she understands I can't help but feel it still has a bad impact long term.

I've had a few socials where a drink has left me similar to you sat on that carpark, nice to know it's not just me!

Im less harsh on myself for these things since diagnosis but I know how hard they are on my wife, wish I could change that as the risk of pushing her away is a big worry, although she says she understands I can't help but feel it still has a bad impact long term.