Published on 12, July, 2020
on Thursday it will be three years since my mum died and I’m finding it hard. Luckily I am going over my friend Rikki’s in the evening we are going to have pizza might play on his ps4 or snuggle up with him and watch a film and drink hot chocolate and eat cupcakes hopefully I can make my chocolate orange ones. It’s nice to have a supportive friend that can keep me company in the evening. I miss my mum every day and I wish she didn’t have to had surgery but she would have died at a later date if she didn’t have it. Truth is I find it hard especially on Mother’s Day and Christmas. Her birthday hasn’t been as bad as the last 2 summers I’ve been over in the states working in a summer camp but this year I won’t be going as I need to find work in the U.K. as I am almost finished with my degree. I’m lucky to have friends that care and will be there for me and Rikki understands as he lost his mum to a heart condition a few years before I lost my mum to a heart condition. Sadly though I can’t put flowers down on Thursday where my mums ashes were scattered as Rikki car is in the garage I don’t drive myself nor do my other friends and catching a bus there isn’t an option. Hopefully I can do that at a later date.
I lost my mum 4 years ago, and it creates a void that cannot be filled. But I have found that, over time, the memories hurt less and bring more joy. They live on in us, in the habits we picked up and looks we inherited. They never really die.