Published on 12, July, 2020
Not what you're thinking, sorry.
I recently discovered that I am ND, and I'm trying to disentangle what in my personality is due to being ND, and what is not. If that's even possible.
My wife is a natural comedian, and a natural performer. She has improv skills which crack me up every time. I, however, do not have these skills and sometimes my wife expresses disappointment that I'm not able to be as entertaining to her as she is to me. But I am simply no good at improvisation. I think too much and too long before I say anything, so the idea of allowing a stream of consciousness out, unchecked and open to judgement, is abhorrent to me. Equally, when I'm simply being asked to perform I am unable. If my wife asks me to sing her a song, I freeze up. I've managed it a couple of times, but felt awful the whole time.
Does anyone else have these experiences?
I do not think that many autists can manage the trick of disengaging the brain and allowing the mouth to freewheel. Having said that I can, occasionally, come up with comic and even witty reposts, but if I consciously try to do so nothing happens. It has to be spontaneous. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
That's the thing. I can be very witty. The spontaneity is there. But when the expectation is also there I can't do it.