Published on 12, July, 2020
I've been taking driving lessons for nearly 2 years now. From an outside point of view I'm a good driver with a few clearance issues, my instructor even says I'm test ready. What people don't see is the near paralysing fear I feel every time I get in the car. I'm so safe because I'm terrified. I've gotten pretty good at hiding how I feel, unless it gets too stressful and then I cry, but my instructor only really sees that fear and frustration maybe once a month. I'm also good because my instructor takes me on the same route every time, if it isn't that route then its another I've done before, but the test examiner could take me on a different route so any skill I have will go out the window if I get taken on a different route.
I'm considering stopping my lessons. I've spent way way too much money on it for the past 2 years and the fear hasn't gone away. It's unpredictable, scary, hard to read because there's some sort of unspoken road language, there's so much stuff to manage all at once, I honestly hate it. I got pushed into doing it and feel like I'll let people down and be a burden on my parents if I can't drive myself places. I dont wanna do that but it seems more and more likely after every lesson that that will happen. I'm wondering if continuing is even worth the time, money and effort anymore.
Anyone have any opinions or advice? How do yall find driving?
I feel the same about driving. I did pass my test, at an older age than people usually do, and after months of my instructor telling me I was ready. I'm quite good at putting fear aside for tests (I actually perform better under pressure but it always reaches a breaking point) I don't drive anymore because it's uncomfortable for me, I don't enjoy it and I'll admit that it makes me feel unsafe. And I think that's the most important thing, if YOU feel unsafe then it is OK not to do it. There are plenty of people who do not drive. My sister has a medical condition which means she cannot drive, she lives a full life. It's not easy not to drive, I get that, but there are ways around it. I'm glad I do have a license because there are occasions when I feel comfortable to drive and it's more convenient for me to drive (don't want to get on public transport or it's handy to have a lockable car to store things in when I get to my location) But the main thing is to do what feels right for you. You can always pick back up and get your licence later in your life.
Also, I find that when driving feels good it is awesome. I find it relaxing and freeing. When driving feels bad (commuting is awful) it is stressful and, honestly, quite dangerous. I only drive now if I don't have a set time to get to my destination and I ALWAYS use a satnav.