Published on 12, July, 2020
I always had to watch other people, mimic others phraseology and speech and either figure out or straight up be taught what is social normality and why this is the case. later in life I’d use phrases and words to fit in
example being: my friends would say “alright mate” or “hey man”
saying “mate” or “man” always felt weird to me and I had to adapt to this to feel like I fit in (mask-I guess) I felt like I was trying to be someone I’m not saying this at one stage. Now it’s a thing I say depending on the kind of company I’m with.
not something I’d ever instinctively do around other autistic people by the way. Calling my (autistic) girlfriend “babe” would be extremely weird for us both.
I don’t know if anyone here would know anymore about this than me! If not then just food for thought really
I’m just wondering if this is an exclusively autistic thing!
As social norms vary enormously between societies, they have to be learned. The difference is that neurotypical people learn these things largely subconsciously, like babies learn language, whereas we learn it mostly consciously, like a university student learning Japanese.
i think japanese norms maybe more natural for me.... dont say anything, just give a bit of a nod lol seems more natural. plus japanese dont look people in the eye as its a disrespectful challenge to do so.
‘Convenience Store Woman‘ by author Sayaka Murata, will show you how Japanese society is as inimical to autistic people as is our own, though often in particularly Japanese ways..
also they have a similar shut in thing that most of us end up doing after high school, they call that hikkikimori or something like that. i probably spelt it wrong.