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I feel like not fully grown up/mature

Alien0n3arth

Does anyone else feel like this? It’s so hard to regulate emotions after someone screamed at me or I had a misunderstanding and feel like a total idiot and loser for not understanding or asking questions. Strong light, sounds of scanners, people talking and laughing loud, strollers being moved on the floor and many other sounds that usually don’t make me feel disregulated today made me crazy and crying I had to hide so no one sees me crying. It was so hard to calm down and soothe myself. I pressed my forehead with my hands and sat for few minutes. This is why I feel like a child in an adult body. Terribly embarrassing. I’m high functioning- I’m a child functioning in adult world and trying to cope. Does anyone have any thoughts, advice, experience, stories to share, I’ll be happy. 

Parents

  • Really interesting thread 

    I get told I’m like a teenager and not a husband on many occasions. As you have all mentioned I have tantrums or meltdowns, can cry over many things and can feel like my body is going to burst from trying to keep too much in. 
    My therapist said being like a child is only ruined by expectation of other adults because it’s what we are supposed to do. I no longer apologise for being this way because it is what helps regulate me. It doesn’t stop me feeling guilty though. 

    Alienated I try to take myself away for my (take5) breaks and let it out or just be still, I sometimes rock side to side, jiggle my legs around and bite all the skin from around my nails and inside my mouth and I feel a little better and half able to return to what I was doing. 
    I do also find these things embarrassing but without these ways of coping how bad would things be? 

    I hope you are all coping in your own ways and wish you all well

  • in reply to Take5

    Wow! This old thread shows that I’m more than half year here (it wasn’t my first one). I feel like a child because I cry for no reason or for reason that others don’t. Like throwing out a good functioning item, I imagine, how it was manufactured, by someone working on minimum wage, then it was transported hundreds or thousands kilometres, only to end up in dustbin because of some scratch on its surface (customers complaint and return). Nobody at work  cries for such reason only me. And I also feel immature because I have difficulties navigating in social interactions (I often don’t understand if something was said seriously or playfully, I have problems recognizing irony etc) I often need additional explanation. This is also a reason. And generally struggling to regulate my emotions. I usually have my neutral mood- without emotions. But if I have any they often get too strong to keep them. 

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Time does indeed fly,  I am new to here! Don't worry you are not alone,  I cry too,  for me it's normally when I can't get my feelings across or don't understand things or sometimes I get angry because at myself because I can't. I too have  problems with social interaction some and understanding people's body language etc, most the time i find myself asking my partner because I don't understand, when it comes to mood im more or less the same, it will change more when I indulge in the things that make me happy and safe if that makes sense 

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  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Time does indeed fly,  I am new to here! Don't worry you are not alone,  I cry too,  for me it's normally when I can't get my feelings across or don't understand things or sometimes I get angry because at myself because I can't. I too have  problems with social interaction some and understanding people's body language etc, most the time i find myself asking my partner because I don't understand, when it comes to mood im more or less the same, it will change more when I indulge in the things that make me happy and safe if that makes sense 

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