I feel like not fully grown up/mature

Does anyone else feel like this? It’s so hard to regulate emotions after someone screamed at me or I had a misunderstanding and feel like a total idiot and loser for not understanding or asking questions. Strong light, sounds of scanners, people talking and laughing loud, strollers being moved on the floor and many other sounds that usually don’t make me feel disregulated today made me crazy and crying I had to hide so no one sees me crying. It was so hard to calm down and soothe myself. I pressed my forehead with my hands and sat for few minutes. This is why I feel like a child in an adult body. Terribly embarrassing. I’m high functioning- I’m a child functioning in adult world and trying to cope. Does anyone have any thoughts, advice, experience, stories to share, I’ll be happy. 

Parents
  • Adulthood is an affectation, impressed upon us by others. If you're responsible for your own wellbeing, no one has the right to judge you for how you cope with the struggles of your life, if those methods are harmless. That's something I struggle with, because when I feel frustrated and overwhelmed, I want very much to externalise my emotions and release the pent up energy. It's like lancing a blister; it relieves the pressure.

    Recently, I went for a walk to get some exercise. When I got home, my father teased me, telling me I should add some laps up and down the flight of stairs. I damaged my wardrobe over that. It was destructive, but I stopped feeling like I was going to have a heart attack. I don't feel good about this strong want to what is essentially throw a tantrum, but believe me when I say the socially acceptable stress management techniques do not work for me.

    Secluding yourself to cry isn't a matter of childishness. No one has the right to judge you for how you try to cope with your life, given that it hurts no one for you to do that. Often as I find, what people call adulthood is really just finding new forms of the same behaviours from childhood. And if someone is screaming at you? Well that doesn't seem very indicative of maturity to me.

Reply
  • Adulthood is an affectation, impressed upon us by others. If you're responsible for your own wellbeing, no one has the right to judge you for how you cope with the struggles of your life, if those methods are harmless. That's something I struggle with, because when I feel frustrated and overwhelmed, I want very much to externalise my emotions and release the pent up energy. It's like lancing a blister; it relieves the pressure.

    Recently, I went for a walk to get some exercise. When I got home, my father teased me, telling me I should add some laps up and down the flight of stairs. I damaged my wardrobe over that. It was destructive, but I stopped feeling like I was going to have a heart attack. I don't feel good about this strong want to what is essentially throw a tantrum, but believe me when I say the socially acceptable stress management techniques do not work for me.

    Secluding yourself to cry isn't a matter of childishness. No one has the right to judge you for how you try to cope with your life, given that it hurts no one for you to do that. Often as I find, what people call adulthood is really just finding new forms of the same behaviours from childhood. And if someone is screaming at you? Well that doesn't seem very indicative of maturity to me.

Children
  • It's interesting what you say about the socially acceptable stress management,  they have never worked for me neither,  what I'd like to know is who are they socially acceptable for?  Especially When I see how some people in the world behave  and some of these are people who run the country !  Just because it may be different to others doesn't mean I have to be made to feel like an outcast,  everybody is unique and individual and that should be celebrated not all made to fit in the same mold