Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else feel like this? It’s so hard to regulate emotions after someone screamed at me or I had a misunderstanding and feel like a total idiot and loser for not understanding or asking questions. Strong light, sounds of scanners, people talking and laughing loud, strollers being moved on the floor and many other sounds that usually don’t make me feel disregulated today made me crazy and crying I had to hide so no one sees me crying. It was so hard to calm down and soothe myself. I pressed my forehead with my hands and sat for few minutes. This is why I feel like a child in an adult body. Terribly embarrassing. I’m high functioning- I’m a child functioning in adult world and trying to cope. Does anyone have any thoughts, advice, experience, stories to share, I’ll be happy.
As an older gay man, I get told all the time, even before I was diagnosed, that I’m immature, as we gay men get told constantly that we have the “Peter pan syndrome” but through watching episodes of Ru Paul’s Drag Race and listening to what the queens have to say in the Werkroom and on the Main Stage, I’ve learned to embrace this part of myself, as being “immature” can be an advantage in some situations - I’ve went out to gay and straight clubs with some straight family members much younger than me, as I have a very young outlook on life and even at age 53, I can still “turn it out” on the dancefloor and I’ve gained a lot of straight friends this way in my home village in Ireland
Enjoy the younger outlook. Good for you.