Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone else feel like this? It’s so hard to regulate emotions after someone screamed at me or I had a misunderstanding and feel like a total idiot and loser for not understanding or asking questions. Strong light, sounds of scanners, people talking and laughing loud, strollers being moved on the floor and many other sounds that usually don’t make me feel disregulated today made me crazy and crying I had to hide so no one sees me crying. It was so hard to calm down and soothe myself. I pressed my forehead with my hands and sat for few minutes. This is why I feel like a child in an adult body. Terribly embarrassing. I’m high functioning- I’m a child functioning in adult world and trying to cope. Does anyone have any thoughts, advice, experience, stories to share, I’ll be happy.
Yep, that's me too - spent my life wishing I didnt cry. I rarely shout at anyone - my anger goes in on myself and I start crying, then sometimes find it hard to stop and feel a complete mess.
I used to have pride in the fact that I never cried... until I hit about 23 and I couldn't hold it in any longer. Now I cry at everything. Good tears, angry tears, happy tears.. It's exhausting sometimes, but it feels best to just get it all out and just let myself feel like a mess for a little while.
I have been a crier right from the off according to my mum. She said she used to worry about me a lot because I would cry at anything. Nowadays it depends where my head is at and although I could easily cry at anything I can keep it in but it’s a huge battle internally, then there are days that I’m a terrible mess. My upset is usually a high amount of empathy for others or the link between music and memories.