• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 787 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Anger issues

Miss Understood

I have come to realise I have an issue with anger. I have been feeling more and more irritable these last few months and it’s making me prone to angry outbursts. I hate it because I don’t deal with anger very well at all. I yell, kick things and hurt myself which obviously isn’t healthy. I’m on a waiting list for an anger management course.

Anyone else? Any advice would also be appreciated.

Parents

  • I find my default response to a trigger is often anger. Something makes me jump, I'm angry at it. Something makes me sneeze, I'm angry at whoever put it there. Someone crashes my calendar or changes plans, I'm angry at them. Someone calls without me expecting it, I'm angry at them... See the pattern?!

    I think it's just the fight flight freeze response being triggered and mostly I find I go "defensive" by default.

    I find just taking a breath and thinking about a situation helps, realise that the person is calling because they want to speak to you, because they either want to , or feel you're the only one that can help, that's a positive. People haven't put air fresheners in place to trigger my hypersensitivity, so it's not their fault . Takes a lot of time and I've never found the internal reaction to things changes, but I have a lot less issues if I don't outwardly react until I've just run it through some rational thinking first. Before I used to do this , I'd fall out with people and regret it massively afterwards. I guess it's a kind of masking in a way.

    Not always easy to reign in, as Iain also said, exercise helps, I find I'm more calm having done some. 

Reply

  • I find my default response to a trigger is often anger. Something makes me jump, I'm angry at it. Something makes me sneeze, I'm angry at whoever put it there. Someone crashes my calendar or changes plans, I'm angry at them. Someone calls without me expecting it, I'm angry at them... See the pattern?!

    I think it's just the fight flight freeze response being triggered and mostly I find I go "defensive" by default.

    I find just taking a breath and thinking about a situation helps, realise that the person is calling because they want to speak to you, because they either want to , or feel you're the only one that can help, that's a positive. People haven't put air fresheners in place to trigger my hypersensitivity, so it's not their fault . Takes a lot of time and I've never found the internal reaction to things changes, but I have a lot less issues if I don't outwardly react until I've just run it through some rational thinking first. Before I used to do this , I'd fall out with people and regret it massively afterwards. I guess it's a kind of masking in a way.

    Not always easy to reign in, as Iain also said, exercise helps, I find I'm more calm having done some. 

Children