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Never felt more lonely since ASD diagnosis

Blue Raccoon

I was diagnosed a few weeks ago and initially I felt a huge wave of relief and burst into tears. Then I felt confusion and anxiety wondering if I will ever feel like I belong and wondering who I really am without the mask. And now I just feel so completely alone. I don't have many people in my life. Just my partner and children and my Mum. My Mum has always been unable to see things from other people's perspectives and is heavily critical of anything I do. But after having gone through the journey with me getting my own children diagnosed, I honestly thought she would be somewhat understanding when I got diagnosed myself. Instead she has been just the same as always and doesn't seem to understand that I really just struggle with life and have done for my entire life. I feel like if I try to take one step forward she is right there dragging me back three steps simply because she can't accept me for who I am. I think she thinks I can just snap out of it. I don't want to lose the only family I have around but I also don't want to keep being dragged back when I'm trying to progress. I have tried to talk to her but she is incredibly stubborn and can never accept that she is ever in the wrong. I just don't know what to do or who to turn to anymore. I feel so lost and lonely and I'm constantly worrying about what is going to happen in my future.

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  • I can relate so much. I grew up undiagnosed and heavily masked. I'm 21 and have only just been diagnosed with autism. I love my mum and she has been supportive of many things in my life, including coming out and letting my partner move in. But she has never understood me in regards to mental health and my autism. Similarly to your mum, i too think that she thinks it is just something you can get over and 'snap out of'. She often says that everyone worries about things and no one likes to work. It really invalidates my feelings and challenges, despite now having an offical diagnosis of autism, i dont think she realises its a disability and more than just worrying. i too have tried to make my mum understand and explain, and she listens but never acts on it or changes her mind or what she says. 

    I too constantly worry and feel lost. i feel so judged by her on my abilities. im so struggling in life and have no idea what im doing, and her judgement makes things worse and i still feel like im exaggerating or faking.  she makes me feel like i dont try hard enough.

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  • I can relate so much. I grew up undiagnosed and heavily masked. I'm 21 and have only just been diagnosed with autism. I love my mum and she has been supportive of many things in my life, including coming out and letting my partner move in. But she has never understood me in regards to mental health and my autism. Similarly to your mum, i too think that she thinks it is just something you can get over and 'snap out of'. She often says that everyone worries about things and no one likes to work. It really invalidates my feelings and challenges, despite now having an offical diagnosis of autism, i dont think she realises its a disability and more than just worrying. i too have tried to make my mum understand and explain, and she listens but never acts on it or changes her mind or what she says. 

    I too constantly worry and feel lost. i feel so judged by her on my abilities. im so struggling in life and have no idea what im doing, and her judgement makes things worse and i still feel like im exaggerating or faking.  she makes me feel like i dont try hard enough.

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