Autism and ADHD

Put it this way. I'm in my 60s, and find the NHS increasingly difficult to access and when I do, I get poor quality service or fobbed off often whilst being talked DOWN to by an idiot.

So when I go off piste soon, and start experimenting with amphetamines as a means of obtaining better personal productiivity (which I've been wanting to do for many, many, years now) would there be any benefit to this community in sharing my experience? 

Specifically, to use a biblical term, I have fallen into the grip of the sin of "Sloth", which to me does seem to present as "depression", or even failing health and old age, (how the hell do I know as my interioception is really shot?)

I remember that particular medication being trasnformative when I tried it once recreationally as a youth, dead useful when I did a piece of work that involved driving, loading, driving, unloading, then returning a lorry for 33 hours straight in my early thirties.  

Deleted User said:

but it’s never had any effect on me

This sounds like classic ADHD ;)

I actually USED to think I was useful in an emergency. It's because I do have a sense of inner calm when others are externally expressing the same chaotic mess eternally happening in my mind. This is different than having actual skills which would be good for an ambulance unit. Put an ADHDr there, and they might work well so long as they're not expected to handle too much paperwork. 

This is the Monotropic brain-type which both ADHD and Au share and why we make great friends. A sense of incoming signals all at once and often mislabeled 'over-thinking' (which means the opposite of problem-solving). 

Here's a few more. Though there's similarities, the differences are important. 

ADHD: Great at multi-tasking, still exhausted and incurring occasional accidents but won't accidentally walk off a cliff. Can leave everything unfinished and still focus || Au: Need to focus one task at a time or will be severely accident prone. Need to finish tasks or won't be able to focus or operate safely.

^^ I needed to work this out for myself. My grandmother (dad's mother) could see the Autistic abilities, but my mother is *most likely* undiagnosed ADHD and impatient. I was told I simply terrible 'timing' and was a bundle of chaos, always had a 'trail of dark fairies' following me. After finally asserting life on my terms, this was not true. I was simply subjected to a space and people who could not help me thrive. 

ADHD: Can be impulsive to burnout, on repeat & doesn't then need a decade to recover, easily mistaken for BPD || Au: a lack of transition time, down-time, quality introvert time will cause constant error and literally ruin general life, create a bit of a 'haze' until one day the anger is constant. 

^^ Both need to practice the discipline of REST. But, an Autistic literally has to force quit life for a short period  and introduce proper boundaries, learn to take awareness when being forced to any sort of transitions and learn to submit an effective pause into the situation. 

ADHD: seamlessly bridging communication gaps between NT and Au without even knowing there is one || Au: constantly misinterpreted, misinterpreting, misunderstood, misrepresented, confused and always trying to work out what others are saying (if there is awareness! There might not be, just a foggy sense of isolation in a way that they can't quite explain).

Both: Everything is too personal. Time is eternal and we live in the moment, I can't find the linear time stream. Unorganised or 'organised chaos' due to exec dysfunction, which many will find a sativa strain will help without knowing there's a real issue and without knowing how this / why this works. A mushroom supplement is actually useful and much more safe, as CDB and THC can suppress the immune system. 

Giant mood shifts: ADHD: knowledge doesn't change emotions as the 'dis' regulation is internal wiring just sending signals at random. Can shift without notice or reason. Immediate response || Au: knowledge / expectations can change how I internally understand and therefore feel about a thing even if I can't ID my feelings. OR suuuuper delayed response (due to communication differences which also mean far behind peers learning social and internal vocabulary).

ADHD: no internal or external communication barrier, can go with the flow / improv, knows how they're feeling || Au: Alexithymia (most likely part and parcel due to accessibility and compatibility of / with words. could get a little easier with maturity)

I’ve always been quite proud of my “useful in an emergency” characteristic. I don’t panic, even if there’s physical danger involved, I am absolutely cold and clear headed and focussed on solving the problem.

I’ve freaked people out a few times by being *too* calm, including school bullies who just couldn’t get the measure of me.

I realise now that part of my autism is that I’m just really slow to mount any kind of emotional response. But it is useful!

JuniperFromGallifrey said:

I've done a LOT of self-directed research here, if anyone is interested. 

Interested??

You just explained to me, succinctly, a shedload of stuff I've been really, really struggling to comprehend.

I've always found your posts to be "coming from a place I am trying to get to" and very wise, but you just hit gold there for me, thank you very much..

I have all of those qualities you listed, particularly the "useful in an emergency" thing.

Thank you. My diagnosis was through the Right to Choose pathway.

I like that. It fits well with how I feel looking at the pile of clothes on my floor!

I like drinking coffee but it’s never had any effect on me. I did a 23andMe genetic test about ten years ago which confirmed this - I’m a “slow caffeine metaboliser”.

Maybe I could try some of the stronger caffeine drinks though.

Coffee sorts me out a bit, calms me down a lot. Tea however seems to make me a bit nuts!

Coffee is a stimulant.  Consider and experiment with it possibly?

JuniperFromGallifrey said:

I've done a LOT of self-directed research here, if anyone is interested. 

We ARE interested. Your contributions are always very very insightful.

Ah, is this the problem I’ve read about, where GPs won’t prescribe the meds based on a private diagnosis?

Best of luck for Wednesday.

I haven't tried any medication because I'm still battling with my GP to get a prescription, four months after I received my assessment report. It's extremely frustrating. I have a telephone appointment with my GP on Wednesday. Wish me luck.

That's me to a T, I was told they suspected I also have ADHD when I was diagnosed with autism , but have since wondered if some traits were just me compensating/masking somehow.

I was advised to get to know my autism first and see if I felt it was worth pursuing ADHD diagnosis in say 6 months or more.

I heard someone say (well "type" not say, may have been on here) that-

If an act feels self serving it's your ADHD 

If an act feels self preserving it's your autism.

I just watched this from The Neurocuriosity Club, which gives some good insight into AuDHD. But in particular near the end they discuss masking and I thought it was one of the most insightful things I've heard:

"Masking is not really the right word because if you take the mask off there you are the real you is still there. But in reality masking is more like the building blocks you’re using to become the person you are. You’re starting to use other people’s blocks instead of your own. So the masterpiece of your personhood doesn’t really reflect you. So unmasking isn’t about just taking the mask off, you have to tear yourself apart and rebuild."

JuniperFromGallifrey said:

But key differences are quite specific. Does a stimulant make you feel calm, collected, grounded? That's ADHD. Does it feel impossible to interpret and not be misinterpreted N-Typcial society? That's Autism. Do you need to do one thing at a time and finish it or you become hazardous? That's Autism. Are you who we should all rely on in an emergency? That's ADHD. 

This is the challenge for me - i tick all those boxes except the stimulant one because i haven't tried any.

I was confused between the two. I think my autistic symptoms affect how i relate and interact with people. I think Im doing a great job being normal, when in fact......in conversation with neuro typical people, they'll see something isn't right. Body language is all off and they notice and I'll say something far out there. Interaction with strangers is uncomfortable....I have weird interests that at times can be consuming.

ADD is a different ball game. I believe this is where my low moods and addictions come from. Im looking for mood boosters and dopamine on this side. I can get deep, dark depression. I was hooked on co codamol because it just gave me a mood boost, took me out of myself. Same with alcohol.

If people are talking about stuff i consider boring, i'll check out mentally in conversations. 

I can be probably considered spikey and unapproachable. Im really not but not easy to talk too from an outside perspective. The combination of not really wanting to talk or being around people. People pick up on that lol its all a massive contradiction and took me a while to separate them both and not feel like i was a fraud.

I've done a LOT of self-directed research here, if anyone is interested. 

I think the easiest way to understand the "Link" between Autism and ADHD is Monotropism.

We both experience difficulty with executive function and we both have difficulty with a linear time stream. We both have lower "Inhibition" in the brain and difficulty filtering out sense-perception. We both can process at a particularity fantastic speed. 

We're VERY similar to our ADHD friends. We even team up well. But key differences are quite specific. Does a stimulant make you feel calm, collected, grounded? That's ADHD. Does it feel impossible to interpret and not be misinterpreted N-Typcial society? That's Autism. Do you need to do one thing at a time and finish it or you become hazardous? That's Autism. Are you who we should all rely on in an emergency? That's ADHD. 

While there's a good deal of research now on the similarities at a biological level, I've found it important to me (personally) to work out if a thing is a genuine difficulty/difference or if I just need to make the extra effort and do the thing I'm too lazy to do which will feel great tomorrow and keep me awake if I don't.  

Ha ha, this reminds me of my experience in 2020. I got a nasty virus around March (probably Covid but it was before we had tests) and lost the hearing in my left ear.

I spent months going back and forward to the GP who kept prescribing pseudoephedrine to “unblock” me. Eventually I happened to go to a different pharmacy than usual and the pharmacist refused to give me it because you’re only supposed to use it for two weeks. He actually phoned my GP surgery and complained to them while I waited. Was very impressed with him.

(I ended up getting an MRI and was told the hearing loss was permanent. But last year my hearing started to return and is almost normal now. Medical science)