Autism and ADHD

I just watched this from The Neurocuriosity Club, which gives some good insight into AuDHD. But in particular near the end they discuss masking and I thought it was one of the most insightful things I've heard:

"Masking is not really the right word because if you take the mask off there you are the real you is still there. But in reality masking is more like the building blocks you’re using to become the person you are. You’re starting to use other people’s blocks instead of your own. So the masterpiece of your personhood doesn’t really reflect you. So unmasking isn’t about just taking the mask off, you have to tear yourself apart and rebuild."

I tend to tread carefully receiving advice from kids! :) 

There's a lot here which is just so slightly misinformed. "The Mask" Is a concept already taken in psychoanalysis for The Neurotic Self (Typical). No one can just unmask as there is no real self behind it, just the Collective Unconscious. And this is what makes Autism REALLY unique, as we haven't tapped into that.

Black and White thinking in Autistics is simply immature thinking, maturing slower due to communication differences, we grow out of it. ADHD can have an appearance of B&W due to brain wiring in out of control auto-mode "firing off" for no reason. Both can appear intense with response, and context is key when working out nuance.

Also, the Left brain perceives linear time and Right brain perceives the moment-eternal time. In physics, Light is outside of / not subject to Time. 

Kinda made me think a lot that has, massive food for thought!

I suppose then, when I'm thinking "I wonder what I'm like without my mask?" What I really need to think is "what would that mask be like if I'd been more selfish and not evolved my personality to hide my behaviour and views?"

Deleted User said:

Same here, although with retirement no longer looking a lifetime away I am thinking this may not be a good thing.

I have no inclination to ever retire.  Whilst I can still work, that is what I will want to do with the bulk of my time!  I think this is because I am lucky enough to do something that I love.  Rare.

Thanks for your vote of "reasonableness" above too.  Appreciated.

Unknown said:

I think I am the most placid and reasonable chap on the planet

That is certainly how you appear on here 

Unknown said:

 [To be clear.....irl = my work......because my life is my work.....to a huge extent....I like it that way.....my special interest is always my work !]

Same here, although with retirement no longer looking a lifetime away I am thinking this may not be a good thing.

Unknown said:

I suspect, Amerantin, that you are highly competent in your role.....and I know you to be a very reasonable human........I think this combination can be terribly "confronting" to many NT's....hence they think we are "senior and scary"? ( to use your staff's descriptor.)

Many years ago I deliberately changed my communication style to be less precise and more colloquial so that I would appear “softer”. Perhaps I wasn’t as successful as I thought. Thank you though!

Oh dude.......I get this sort of nonsense all the time !!  I think I am the most placid and reasonable chap on the planet most of the time....and yet people perceive me as overly confident, bullish and opinionated irl.....in my work.  [To be clear.....irl = my work......because my life is my work.....to a huge extent....I like it that way.....my special interest is always my work !]

I suspect, Amerantin, that you are highly competent in your role.....and I know you to be a very reasonable human........I think this combination can be terribly "confronting" to many NT's....hence they think we are "senior and scary"? ( to use your staff's descriptor.)

One of my “work friends” who’s known me for 20+ years recently told me that other staff see me as “senior and scary” and he keeps having to tell them I’m not scary at all. I’m still not sure what to make of that.

I'm totally crazy, I frightened myself during unmasking, now I'm working out which ones are useful and which arn't, of course when I need one is another consideration.

Whilst I don't actively seek out confrontation, it rarely frightens me, some people do find me confrontational because I speak my mind, but I rarely hide my views about things. I'm not easily intimidated either which can make for some interesting times, telling people who are shouting at me in the belief that volume makes something more true get a bit offended when I tell them I'm not deaf, I just disagree with them.

I'm totally crazy, I frightened myself during unmasking, now I'm working out which ones are useful and which arn't, of course when I need one is another consideration.

Whilst I don't actively seek out confrontation, it rarely frightens me, some people do find me confrontational because I speak my mind, but I rarely hide my views about things. I'm not easily intimidated either which can make for some interesting times, telling people who are shouting at me in the belief that volume makes something more true get a bit offended when I tell them I'm not deaf, I just disagree with them.

Deleted User said:

Same here, although with retirement no longer looking a lifetime away I am thinking this may not be a good thing.

I have no inclination to ever retire.  Whilst I can still work, that is what I will want to do with the bulk of my time!  I think this is because I am lucky enough to do something that I love.  Rare.

Thanks for your vote of "reasonableness" above too.  Appreciated.

Unknown said:

I think I am the most placid and reasonable chap on the planet

That is certainly how you appear on here 

Unknown said:

 [To be clear.....irl = my work......because my life is my work.....to a huge extent....I like it that way.....my special interest is always my work !]

Same here, although with retirement no longer looking a lifetime away I am thinking this may not be a good thing.

Unknown said:

I suspect, Amerantin, that you are highly competent in your role.....and I know you to be a very reasonable human........I think this combination can be terribly "confronting" to many NT's....hence they think we are "senior and scary"? ( to use your staff's descriptor.)

Many years ago I deliberately changed my communication style to be less precise and more colloquial so that I would appear “softer”. Perhaps I wasn’t as successful as I thought. Thank you though!

Oh dude.......I get this sort of nonsense all the time !!  I think I am the most placid and reasonable chap on the planet most of the time....and yet people perceive me as overly confident, bullish and opinionated irl.....in my work.  [To be clear.....irl = my work......because my life is my work.....to a huge extent....I like it that way.....my special interest is always my work !]

I suspect, Amerantin, that you are highly competent in your role.....and I know you to be a very reasonable human........I think this combination can be terribly "confronting" to many NT's....hence they think we are "senior and scary"? ( to use your staff's descriptor.)

One of my “work friends” who’s known me for 20+ years recently told me that other staff see me as “senior and scary” and he keeps having to tell them I’m not scary at all. I’m still not sure what to make of that.