Published on 12, July, 2020
Just found an explanation of why questions make us autistic adults nervous. I would have just said it's because I don't know what to expect, but who does? Here's the clearer explanation:
"We have to do manually what neurotypical brains do automatically...
We have to manually modify our speech patterns, facial expressions and tone of voice, so as not to come across as rude or defensive, whilst also coming up with a correct and socially acceptable answer in seconds .... And it's an exhausting balancing act." - Jaime A Heidel, The Articulate Autistic
Also, the article mentions that when we answer a question, we want to make sure we are answering with all the correct information and details, which also resonates with me.
This is relevant to all our conversation I think, not just about questions. I find that I often go over past conversations in my head, wishing I had added something or phrased something differently. I also rehearse future conversations.
This has really helped me understand why I've had problems with communication and relationships in the past, what masking is, and why I've always got tired so easily.
Yes! I agree and I also relate a lot to this experience. While NTs just enjoy their chitchat, my PC (brain) is on its full speed and capacity, analysing the situation, the topic, trying to filter out noises from the environment, trying to make sense of the non verbal language of the others, trying to prepare my own sentence and trying to find the right moment to say it. Often it turns out, nobody pays even a bit attention to what I have said. As If I had no voice at all. This is frustrating. That’s why I like socialising other way - by doing some activities together but not talking much. I’m often perceived as shy little girl or sad, moody or pacing out. While I’m just concentrated on the task and also kinda catching the atmosphere around me.