I regret my youth

I spent so much time playing video games, browsing the internet and watching TV and videos and DVDs. Hey, those of you sniggering! I did grow up in the nineties.

There's nothing wrong with any of them, in an of them themselves, but the issue with all of them is you can easily become addicted to them and I did. I wish I would have read more books and learned more things instead of spending so much time having fun.

Now I'm 37 I would have rather have spent my time learning the guitar or learning things from books, that information or skill would be very useful at this stage. The memories of fun I had with the games, the TV and the internet are almost like vapour that has vanished to nothing. They almost mean nothing anymore but I can still remember facts I learned years ago that serve me in good stead today and the little bits I did manage to learn on the guitar mean I can play better than someone who hasn't learned at all.

I also regret that I ate so unhealthily. I don't blame myself for the activities or the eating. I believe at lot of it was peer pressure, ignorance and lax parenting. I don't blame my parents either, both had come from poverty and were despite being quite intelligent like many parents at the time not at all aware of Autism or the challenges that would be posed by modern technology.

The eating I regret because I didn't develop my body as much as I could have. I ate too many processed foods like cheap sausages, Billy Bear luncheon meat, biscutis and cream crackers and hardly touched vegetables or whole cuts of meat or fish or legumes or wholegrains. Most men are taller than me, I didn't have the best fuel for building muscle and developing growth.

It's useless to feel bitter about it though. I only hope others can learn from my mistakes.

Parents
  • You can learn skills at any age. There's even been middle-aged and elderly people who started lifting weights and enjoy doing that as a hobby. I guess you're up for changing something about your life. If you are still alive, then you could still do something about your situation. I mean, yes you might have made decisions that don't add much to your future, but other people have done that as well. They might be scrolling through social media and not paying any attention to how often they are ignoring everything. But you finally are paying attention to yourself. Learn a skill, change your diet, you can do it.  

  • I have changed quite a lot. I'm not sure how able to I am to learn the guitar but I'm going to start trying to from today using a magazine I bought. I'm going to try to learn how to read and play along with tab.I had contacted a teacher who lives nearby that my social worker knows and recommended but he was fully booked. He said he might be able to reararnge one of his students' appointment time to fit me in, however he hasn't contacted me back yet and I felt it might be pushy to get back in touch myself.

    At the moment I eat a keto diet. I have lots of vegetables, avoid sugar and eat whole meats like beef and lamb. I'm in exceptionally good shape appearence-wise but still have physical problems brought on, probably, by eating junk food to excess when I was younger.

    I'm not sure keto is  that healthy for me so am considering any day now switching onto a low carb diet instead which would allow me up to around 100 grams of carbohydrates a day. I would probably have wild rice, about 50 grams of it per meal, for two meals a day, the other meal I would keep largely free of carbs. 

    Over the past week I read and finished Resurrection, a novel by Tolstoy that is one of the best things I've ever experienced. I find it easier though to read books or research online than to do practical things, that is where I want to focus my attention and energy now. 

    I maintain, though, the message to younger people that in your youth you have a uniquely fresh opportunity to maximise your potential, this is before bad habits can wreak lifelong health impacts or set in place habits that are harder to break as you age.

  • I did the Primal diet for about 3 and a half years and loved it. That was pretty low carbs but I found for me who needs around 3500 cals a day wasn’t enough. I started to get very dizzy and feel unwell so had to up my carb intake. Basically I did the Primal but tweaked it a bit. 

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