The commonalities of autistic adults

I've been reading the replies to my thread about why I never knew I was autistic and was a little surprised at how many things in common we had, some of which are not always linked with autism. Also I'm currently reading a book called "untypical" by Pete Wharmby, in which he details his experiences of being autistic by different criteria, such as friends, school, hobbies, the workplace, etc and noticed some things there that I relate to but which are not often realised may be traits of autism.

I also think that the explanations of what autism is are sometimes a bit vague and not particularly easy for us to understand e.g. Problems with social communication (what exactly does that mean?) Problems with social interaction (who doesn't have those?) Repetitive & restrictive behaviours (everyone has routines and habits?) Highly focused interests or hobbies (um, like football or celebrities?)

Some things, like stimming, seem to be a thing that makes some people identify that a person is autistic, but we don't all do that. I wanted to try to put together simple to understand, relatable examples of each criteria, (and adding a couple of my own) that may be common to us all. So please tell me if you have also experienced all of the situations below, or if any of them do not apply to you:


Social communication examples:

- Replying to "How was your weekend?" with a lengthy monologue of what you did,, then noticing that the other person's face has gone blank and they don't appear interested.

- Rehearsing what you are going to say in your head, or writing it down to help you remember.

- Hating phones / preferring to send emails


Social interaction examples:

- "Catching" the emotions of others and often feeling overwhelmed by it.

- Being bullied, teased or made fun of, or feeling you have been misunderstood

- Not having your ideas listened to


Repetitive and restrictive behaviour examples:

- Feeling extremely stressed if you are in the middle of a task and are suddenly told you must do something else - now!

- Cannot "hot desk"


Sensory under or over sensitivity examples:

- Hearing sounds others don't notice, like the ticking of a clock or the hum of a machine

- Over sensitivity to heat or cold (may make you feel unwell or register as pain)


Highly focused interests or hobbies examples:

- Obsession about a hobby or topic;  thinking about it when you should be doing something else

- When absorbed in your hobby, losing track of time or of physical needs (thirst, hunger, tiredness etc)


Extreme anxiety examples:

- Feeling highly anxious in a "normal" situation, such as a supermarket checkout queue.

- Gastro-intestinal issues


Meltdowns and shutdowns examples:

- Loss of emotional control, leading to anger or crying

- Loss of the ability to speak, function or even think properly


Learning differences examples:

- Difficulty in catching a ball / tying laces, clumsy (possibly gross motor skills dyspraxia)

- Hyperlexia (advanced reading skills) or dyslexia

Parents
  • Hi as a late diagnosed adult I have struggled with imposter syndrome. I always kinda knew I felt different. Making friends was / is something that I find very hard. I never knew what to say and how to say it. I now realised that I have masked all my life and struggle to know what is the real me. The current me has spent over a year away from my workplace as I cannot cope with the people and my managers. I have been given an access to work grant in November but not seen any of the equipment yet. My managers seem to think 'well he coped for years and years and suddenly cannot do these things now!'. I am learning what my 'traits' are but it scares me that when all my masks are off there will be nothing left. Always trying to fit in but never quite managed it. I have been controlled, manipulated and abused in the past but I am determined not to be anymore. I have the support of my wonderful partner although we do not live together. I feel much more affinity to animals than humans.

    I say yes to all of the list above. I have always been clumsy and banging into tables and doors etc but never thought until now that this was an autistic trait. I always thought it was because there is so much going on in my head that I would lose myself in space and time.

    The one thing above all is the constant state of anxiety about everything. I am constantly thinking about random things and find it difficult to think about the stuff that matters

    I am on the waiting list for self compassion therapy but that could be years away.

    sorry for my ramblings

Reply
  • Hi as a late diagnosed adult I have struggled with imposter syndrome. I always kinda knew I felt different. Making friends was / is something that I find very hard. I never knew what to say and how to say it. I now realised that I have masked all my life and struggle to know what is the real me. The current me has spent over a year away from my workplace as I cannot cope with the people and my managers. I have been given an access to work grant in November but not seen any of the equipment yet. My managers seem to think 'well he coped for years and years and suddenly cannot do these things now!'. I am learning what my 'traits' are but it scares me that when all my masks are off there will be nothing left. Always trying to fit in but never quite managed it. I have been controlled, manipulated and abused in the past but I am determined not to be anymore. I have the support of my wonderful partner although we do not live together. I feel much more affinity to animals than humans.

    I say yes to all of the list above. I have always been clumsy and banging into tables and doors etc but never thought until now that this was an autistic trait. I always thought it was because there is so much going on in my head that I would lose myself in space and time.

    The one thing above all is the constant state of anxiety about everything. I am constantly thinking about random things and find it difficult to think about the stuff that matters

    I am on the waiting list for self compassion therapy but that could be years away.

    sorry for my ramblings

Children