The commonalities of autistic adults

I've been reading the replies to my thread about why I never knew I was autistic and was a little surprised at how many things in common we had, some of which are not always linked with autism. Also I'm currently reading a book called "untypical" by Pete Wharmby, in which he details his experiences of being autistic by different criteria, such as friends, school, hobbies, the workplace, etc and noticed some things there that I relate to but which are not often realised may be traits of autism.

I also think that the explanations of what autism is are sometimes a bit vague and not particularly easy for us to understand e.g. Problems with social communication (what exactly does that mean?) Problems with social interaction (who doesn't have those?) Repetitive & restrictive behaviours (everyone has routines and habits?) Highly focused interests or hobbies (um, like football or celebrities?)

Some things, like stimming, seem to be a thing that makes some people identify that a person is autistic, but we don't all do that. I wanted to try to put together simple to understand, relatable examples of each criteria, (and adding a couple of my own) that may be common to us all. So please tell me if you have also experienced all of the situations below, or if any of them do not apply to you:


Social communication examples:

- Replying to "How was your weekend?" with a lengthy monologue of what you did,, then noticing that the other person's face has gone blank and they don't appear interested.

- Rehearsing what you are going to say in your head, or writing it down to help you remember.

- Hating phones / preferring to send emails


Social interaction examples:

- "Catching" the emotions of others and often feeling overwhelmed by it.

- Being bullied, teased or made fun of, or feeling you have been misunderstood

- Not having your ideas listened to


Repetitive and restrictive behaviour examples:

- Feeling extremely stressed if you are in the middle of a task and are suddenly told you must do something else - now!

- Cannot "hot desk"


Sensory under or over sensitivity examples:

- Hearing sounds others don't notice, like the ticking of a clock or the hum of a machine

- Over sensitivity to heat or cold (may make you feel unwell or register as pain)


Highly focused interests or hobbies examples:

- Obsession about a hobby or topic;  thinking about it when you should be doing something else

- When absorbed in your hobby, losing track of time or of physical needs (thirst, hunger, tiredness etc)


Extreme anxiety examples:

- Feeling highly anxious in a "normal" situation, such as a supermarket checkout queue.

- Gastro-intestinal issues


Meltdowns and shutdowns examples:

- Loss of emotional control, leading to anger or crying

- Loss of the ability to speak, function or even think properly


Learning differences examples:

- Difficulty in catching a ball / tying laces, clumsy (possibly gross motor skills dyspraxia)

- Hyperlexia (advanced reading skills) or dyslexia

Parents
  • I wonder how much we get silo'd for our feelings? I see so many threads on here with people asking if they do something because of autism, I so often want to ask why they think it is so? So many behaviours are the same in both autists and NT's, maybe some of us feel things more strongly or are more passionate about somethings than others, but is it always to do with autism? I mean you see all these people who are obsessive about growing dahlias or giant veg, they will have whole alotments dedicated to it as well as their gardens, does anyone think they're autistic or are they dedicated eccentrics?

    I'm not trying to say we don't have differences, obsessions and real difficulties, but sometimes I think normal behaviour is being pathologised and added to an ever increasing list of abnormalities and it increases a sense of isolation and differences where if you asked a random selection of people these things, they would probably think them normal.

Reply
  • I wonder how much we get silo'd for our feelings? I see so many threads on here with people asking if they do something because of autism, I so often want to ask why they think it is so? So many behaviours are the same in both autists and NT's, maybe some of us feel things more strongly or are more passionate about somethings than others, but is it always to do with autism? I mean you see all these people who are obsessive about growing dahlias or giant veg, they will have whole alotments dedicated to it as well as their gardens, does anyone think they're autistic or are they dedicated eccentrics?

    I'm not trying to say we don't have differences, obsessions and real difficulties, but sometimes I think normal behaviour is being pathologised and added to an ever increasing list of abnormalities and it increases a sense of isolation and differences where if you asked a random selection of people these things, they would probably think them normal.

Children
  • Hi Catwoman

    I don't know what silo'd means?

    I agree that it can be difficult to identify which behaviours are due to autism - that's what I've been trying to determine, and why I posted this list. I wanted to see if those things were applicable to all of us, and I then hope to use two lovely colleagues as control subjects - they have both done the Aspie quiz and had results showing they were typical, and I've asked if they would mind doing the AQ50 test to check that they definitely are unlikely to be autistic, then I was going to ask them how many of these things we identify with apply to them.

    You pointed out about common special interests such as gardening, and I pointed out football fans or those obsessed with celebrities. I think the difference may be that neurotypical/allistic people don't have thoughts about their special interest pop into their heads when they're trying to do something else, like sleeping or listening to what a person is telling them. Also it may not be "typical" to lose track of being hungry, thirsty or tired while absorbed in an interest?

    The thing is that sometimes people don't want to be "typical" , they want to be "special" or "individual", while others who have great empathy will be at pains to make autistic people feel included, which prompts the statement that "everyone is a bit autistic" . I'm trying to find out exactly where the differences lie.